How to Save Your Marriage During the Empty Nest Years

When you have spent your married life raising children, it may seem as if those children are the only things you and your spouse have in common. Many couples find that they have little to say to one another once the kids have left the nest. It is easy to feel as though you are suddenly living with a stranger. Though this is a disheartening feeling, it is a normal one. Fortunately for those experiencing an empty nest everywhere, it is also a problem that can be resolved with a little effort and determination.

Instructions

1. Make a commitment. When you married your spouse, you made a vow to commit to him or her forever. As the years go by, it can be easy to disregard the importance of such a vow. Remember that while love is a feeling, marriage is a commitment. If you want to save your marriage, you must be committed to doing so. You can recommit quietly in your own heart, verbally to your spouse or publicly by renewing your vows.

2. Remember why you fell in love. After so many years of marriage, it is easy to take your partner for granted. You may fail to appreciate the things about him or her that you once adored, or you may be easily annoyed by your spouse's quirky habits. One of the best ways to remedy these problems is to make a list of all the reasons you fell in love with your mate in the first place. This simple reminder can help you to find those lost feelings of love.

3. Revisit your past. At the beginning of your relationship, you probably experienced the giddy excitement that accompanies new love. A trip down memory lane may be in order if you wish to recover that feeling. Try recreating your first date or going on your honeymoon again. Re-experiencing these things can help to bring that magical feeling back into the relationship.

4. Make time to talk. No relationship can survive without ample communication. By setting aside time to talk each day, you are keeping the lines of communication open and giving yourselves a chance to enjoy the company of one another. If you find that you have nothing to talk about, make a list of possible topics of conversation. If you are really hard up for ideas, scan the newspaper for stories of interest and discuss those with your spouse. In time, you will find that conversation is coming more easily for you both.

5. Experience something new together. Sharing a new experience is a great way to bring a couple closer together. It can be something as wild and exciting as skydiving or bungee jumping or it can be something as low-key as taking up gardening or learning sign language. In truth, it does not matter what you are doing, so long as you are doing it together.

6. Discover your common interests. If you don't have any common interests, go out and find some! Come up with hobbies or activities that you can both enjoy and start spending quality time together.

7. Take it one day at a time. As in every stage of marriage, there will be high points and low points during the empty nest years. Resolve to muddle through the tough times together and you will be rewarded by the beautiful moments that you share as a couple.

Tips & Warnings

• If you want to save your marriage but feel ill-equipped to do so, consider enlisting the help of a marriage counselor.

• Don't sweat the small stuff. Only address major things unless it's all those little things that are the main problem.