How to Get out of a Relationship

No matter how you slice it, breaking up is hard to do. Someone will inevitably get hurt. Learn how to take the anger and hurt out of a break-up.

Things You'll Need

• List of shared property
• List of grievances

Instructions

1. Explain your grievance(s) concerning the relationship. Communicate the reason(s) why the relationship is no longer functional. Provide specific, communicative, detailed examples of the behavior(s), event(s), or failure(s) that have contributed to your decision to end the relationship. Focus on the specific details and facts of each example. For example, explain how your romantic partner failed to remember your birthday two years in a row.

2. Communicate the finality of your decision. Explain that the grievance or complaint is irreconcilable Communicate your unwillingness to change your mind. To compound this statement, emphasize that an apology or change in behavior can neither change your mind nor turn back the hands of time.

3. Explain that the quality of the relationship is unacceptable. Communicate your unwillingness to accept the quality of the relationship or the standard of commitment/trust/intimacy that has defined the relationship. Explain that the handling of the relationship by both parties demonstrates a lack of maturity or shared understanding of what a relationship should be.

4. Return borrowed property and sell shared property. Retain or donate gifts, but returned all borrowed property. For romantic couples living together, sell all shared property or agree to buy back specific property at the depreciated value. Organize a day or two to complete the process.

5. End all contact. Avoid accepting your romantic partner's phone calls and emails (as well as all other correspondence). Explain that you want and expect a clean break, without any communication for a specified period of time. Agree that this separation period will allow you both to heal and move on from the break-up.

Tips & Warnings

• Be sure you want to end the relationship. Seek outside advice if unsure.

• Never string another person along after you know your romantic feelings have changed.