How to Avoid Getting a Divorce

Divorce is a very difficult thing to go through under the best of circumstances. Unless a marriage is abusive, or completely unwanted by one or both parties, divorce should be avoided. Most people avoid divorce by ignoring one another, but this is not necessary. If you are wanting to avoid getting a divorce, here are some tips to help you stay married happily.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Sit down with your spouse and make sure they intend on trying to avoid divorce as well. If your spouse is unwilling to work on the marriage, then you are wasting your time.

2. Talk calmly about those things that bother you. Be sure to allow your spouse to go first, so that it will foster open communication. Do not argue the points. Just make a list of things that bother each other.

3. Read each list separate from your spouse, while they look over yours. As you read the list, try to find several points of compromise. Where can you make things better?

4. Come back together after going over the lists and offer compromises and apologies if warranted. If you are willing to extend the olive branch, your spouse generally will too.

5. Reminisce about the old days. Why did you fall in love with your spouse in the first place. Avoiding divorce can sometimes be as simple as realizing that you belong together.

6. Take a week away from each other. Stay at a friend's house, or go stay with a relative. Separate yourselves for a solid week to think about the things you have spoken about. Missing one another will help you feel motivated to avoid divorce.

7. Remember that abuse of any kind is unacceptable. This especially extends to the kids. In this situation, divorce should be quick for the safety of the kids.

8. Consider divorce also if your spouse has uncertainty about their sexual orientation. If your spouse is unsure if they are also attracted to the same sex, this can be a devastation that is impossible to fix. Other problems that could prevent reconciliation are multiple relapses into drug, alcohol and gambling addictions.

9. Commit to one another with a brand new outlook. If you dedicate yourselves to working out the marriage, then you will avoid divorce successfully.

Tips & Warnings

• Listen carefully to one another.
• Compromise on anything that you can.
• Separate from your partner for a week.
• Renew your commitment.
• Avoid raising your voices.
• Avoid blaming one another.

[mgonza12]

on 7/26/2008 Well written and well thoughtout advice....