How to Fix a Failing Marriage

Marriage can be challenging for even the most well-adjusted and highly compatible couple. Unfortunately, dealing with the responsibility of fixing a failing marriage can be even more difficult and painful. Thankfully, it doesn't have to be. With an understanding of how to properly communicate, re-establish intimacy and avoid the blame game, fixing a failing marriage can be a rewarding experience. Read more to learn how to fix a failing marriage.

Things You'll Need

• Open communication

Instructions

1. Agree to no longer carry emotional baggage. In a safe environment, examine the behaviors that have contributed to the weakening of communication, intimacy, trust or fidelity within the marriage. Explain the behaviors that must be changed and explain how each change can strengthen the weakened areas of the marriage. For example, consider saying, "By calling to let me know that you will be late coming home from work, I am able to make adjustment when cooking dinner. This small courtesy would cause me to be less stressed and want to make love more often at the end of the day."

2. Know that together you and your spouse can improve the state of the marriage. Agree to incorporate affirmative speech and positive reinforcement into the framework of all communication. Start communication with an acknowledgment of emotion, not the assignment of blame. For example, consider saying, "I felt abandoned when you were unable to make it home in time for dinner last night. I freaked me out because I felt myself being reminded of the time I was nine and my dad missed my recital."

3. Agree to no longer assign blame. Agree to find solutions that strengthen and complement the marriage. Offer choices that provide allowances and room for error. For example, follow the three day rule. According to the rule, your spouse would be allowed to leave his socks on the bathroom floor for up to three days. After that, he must remove them.

4. Establish a pattern of intimacy. Discuss how you and your spouse would ideally like to connect in a more intimate way. Expand the conversation beyond just sexual intimacy to strengthen other areas of the marriage like trust. Think outside of the box and decide on activities that will allow for real connectedness.

5. Consider speaking with a church elder, marriage counselor or parent about the problem(s) within the marriage. Seek advise and wisdom from a parent or licensed professional to guide decision-making and help focus communication in a more positive direction. Incorporate the information that is most appropriate and consider how it can be most effectively used.