Things You'll Need:
- Calendar
- Romantic greeting cards
-
Step 1
Watch for her smile. If your wife seems to be happy, you are probably already creating the atmosphere that allows her to thrive. If your marriage is calm and peaceful, you are probably also happy. Congratulations!
-
Step 2
Understand if she is not happy. Her unhappiness may have little to do with you. Women are statistically more prone to depression than men. If you think she is depressed, discuss it with her and possibly with her doctor. Depression is an illness; you fight an uphill battle if you try to keep a depressed wife happy all by yourself.
-
Step 3
Do what you can to keep her happy. Even if she is depressed, the steps below can help your marriage.
-
Step 1
Move together. Physically active people are happier than sedentary ones. If your wife does not already exercise, invite her to work out with you. Do something you both think you will enjoy. Folk dancing allows her to dress up in a fancy skirt while you hold her in your arms. Round up a child and play catch. If you are not yet fit, start with something simple, like a walk after dinner. Commit to a few minutes of exercise a day and build up from there.
-
Step 2
Use your free pheromones. If your workout gets you good and sweaty, give your sweetie a long and affectionate hug, letting the masculine hormones under your arms tickle her nose. The jury's still out on whether human pheromones really work, but the price is definitely right.
-
Step 3
Let those hormones lead you to bed. Good news--a Dartmouth study concludes that a satisfying sex life makes married couples feel as happy as if they had $50,000 extra in income. A good reason to practice your Kegels, both of you, and invest in some fancy underwear.
-
Step 1
Make regular deposits in the love bank. Pretend that you have a checking account in the United Bank of Your Sweetie. You make a deposit to your account every time you hug her, tell her you love her, do the laundry, or woo her. If you snap at her or take her for granted, you've withdrawn some of your love. We all have bad days from time to time, but don't go into overdraft in this very important account!
-
Step 2
Make a little list. Your wife is your partner. You need to discuss joint commitments together. Often you think of them while you're commuting or some other inconvenient time. Keep a running list of important issues to discuss.
-
Step 3
Keep communication flowing. Regular business meetings keep your marriage running smoothly. Once a week, sit down with the calendar and your wife. Discuss upcoming commitments, finances and anything else on your running list. To keep the business meetings from getting too dry, dream together, too, and set goals.If you involve older children in these meetings, people may interrupt each other. Have a toy or other item that shows who is the speaker. Whoever holds the toy speaks without interruption, then passes it to the next person who wants to speak.
-
Step 4
Stay on the money. Finances are a big source of strife for couples. It is tempting to skip the money discussions, but try to hold them regularly. That way if one of you loses your cool, you know that you can try again in the near future.
-
Step 5
Divide the work fairly. Talk about how you split up the household tasks. Strive to do your fair share.
-
Step 6
Participate in a religious organization together. People who attend houses of worship are happier than those who do not. The family that prays together...
-
Step 1
Make friends with your calendar. It's not just for business meetings anymore. Write down your anniversary, her birthday, and other important days. Give her something on those days. If money is tight, "something" may be a simple card with a heartfelt message. If you can afford them, thoughtful little presents can light up your spouse's eyes.
-
Step 2
Make a little list, part II. If your wife mentions that she would like a new trowel or a jar of bath salts, write it down. If the next gift-giving occasion is months away, you might want to get it for her "just because." Extra points if you write her a poem, even if you haven't penned one since the third grade.
-
Step 3
Surprise! Give her a present she didn't ask for, on an ordinary day. Half the fun of presents is the pretty package. If you are not good at gift wrap, have it wrapped at the store, or find a creative teenager to wrap it for you.
-
Step 4
Do "manly" things for her. Helping her maintain her car, carry furniture, or hang things may not be your style, so this step is optional. But if you do them she will be sure to appreciate it, especially if she likes to maintain her pretty manicure.
-
Step 5
Unless you're doing manly things, don't loll around in stained, ripped tee-shirts. Dress like the attractive man you want her to see. Shave with a razor for a kissable face. On the other hand, if you're proud of your muscles and you have a hard hat, leave the tee-shirt on and play "construction worker."
-
Step 6
Tell her how beautiful she is to you. As your marriage wears on, she needs to know that you still find her attractive. White lies are ok. Put on your rose-colored glasses and wolf-whistle. Do this often.
-
Step 7
Cuddle and kiss her until she giggles. Do this often.
