How to Make Parents Stop Arguing

Parental issues can affect their children whether adolescent or adult. It can make family events and get together uncomfortable and create tension for all those around. While you can't solve their problems for them you can try to help your parents work through things so they will stop arguing.

Instructions

1. Eavesdrop. You've always been told it's wrong but sometimes you have to break the rules. Eavesdrop and listen to a couple of their arguments to see what they're fighting about. Also, take note of each parent's fighting style. Does one person overwhelm the argument or take it over so the other person can't speak? Is someone avoiding answering questions? Do their arguments make sense? Does one person attack while the other defends?

2. Sit down each parent and talk to them individually. Get their side of the story and ask them what is going on. You don't have to agree with everything they say just listen to it all and try to understand their perspective as best you can. Then tell them each how their arguing has been affecting you, your siblings and others (if others are affected). Make them understand that they're not the only ones involved.

3. Bring up their argument topics when everyone is together. Tell them you've talked to everyone individually and heard their perspective and really want to help work through things. Have your parents try to discuss the topics as a family, hopefully this will calm them down a bit and let them get some perspective on how everyone feels about different situations and topics.

4. Break up their fights. When you hear them get into an argument rush in and break it up gently. Mention points from each side and each point of view. Try to get them to come to a compromise for the meantime and see how it works out. Maybe a compromise is all they need. Maybe not. You never know until you try. And if all else fails get some professional help.

5. Call a minister, counselor (school or otherwise) or other good mediator type who will be able to be impartial and open to hearing both sides. The goal is to get your parents to apologize to one another and create some sort of compromise or agreement that they will each try to stick to. Emphasize not only what this arguing has done to their relationship but you and your relationship with each of them. Make yourself available to them to help them work through things and tell them you love them. Good luck.

Tips & Warnings

• Try to see both perspectives and come to a compromise.

• Don't take sides.