How to know if it’s too early to get pregnant

There’s a lot of talk about teen and young pregnancy today and quite a bit of advice from well-meaning adults who advise that teens wait to have sex. The difficulty is that the body craves sex from the moment it becomes sexually mature. It has historically been beneficial to our species for yunggins to procreate as soon as possible. Fortunately or unfortunately it is our current (and tenuous might I add) culture that now tells us that such natural drives and instincts have become antiquated, obsolete and socially irrelevant. Is it a good idea to get pregnant when you are a teen? What is good? What is bad, really? If we define good as what is best for you and your offspring the answer becomes one that is less absolute.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• critical thinking skills
• self control
• planning ability

1. First you should ask yourself if you actually want a child. If the answer is no then you must behave and protect yourself accordingly. If you still intend to hump all up on people you have to realize that pregnancy will continue to be a risk. Even with the use of all kinds of crazy contraceptives life will find a way. Have a contingency plan in place, talk to your partner(s) in advance about how they'd want to deal with such eventualities, put away some money for gyno-procreativ emergency; time how long it takes to get to the nearest clinic; now try to beat that record.
2. Next you should examine whether or not you are in the financial condition to have children. If you need to question where any part of the money for this undertaking is going to come from then you are obviously not in good shape for making babies. There's no rush. You're certainly not doing baby any good by bringing him into the world dirt poor; I certainly would rather remain blissfully non-existent than be your offspring if we could hardly even get along, if I had to live in crappy parts of town, associating with odious characters and receiving a substandard education. What kind of start is that? What kind of life would I have? Lame.
3. Finally you need to think of what kind of product you'll be producing. Are you stupid, ugly, sickly or in some other way genetically undesirable? What about your partner? Do you come from a stupid, ugly family? And your partner's family, stupid/ugly as well? If there are no fish in either of your gene pools than what the hell will poor baby eat? Mediocrity is on the rise, we've traded intelligent discourse for $14.99 unlimited texting and, let me state for the record, 'Lost' is a terribly written piece of crap that just gets worse and worse; the fact that a show like that can stay on the air for four seasons and get such critical acclaim.. How could you justify being a part of this problem?

Tips & Warnings

• Sometimes it can be difficult to assess ourselves honestly. Try asking acquaintances and people you've just met if you're stupid and/or ugly, see what they tell you.