How to tell if you're in an abusive friendship

By Kate J

How to tell if you're in an abusive friendship How to tell if you're in an abusive friendship

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Been friends with someone for awhile, but somehow feel off about your friendship? Maybe things don't feel as fun as they used to and maybe you're feeling more down than usual. Could you be in an abusive friendship? Here are some steps to find out.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Step1
Compare your friendship with other friendships. What is different? What compares? Make a list of pros and cons about your friendship.
Step2
Question if there is any physical abuse. Things like punching and kicking are obvious, but sometimes some may mistaken physical abuse to teasing. Things like flicking, pinching, and grabbing are physical abuse and do count.
Step3
Question the mental abuse. Does your friend constantly put you down? Are you ridiculed? Think about your conversations with said friend. If you speak of things important to you, how do they view them? If anything you are passionate about seems insignificant to them, this is also a form of mental abuse. Friends should be supportive.
Step4
Do they go out of their way to hurt you/make fun of you? How often do they do it, if they do? In abusive relationships, this tends to be an everyday sort of thing.
Step5
Are they obsessed with you? Think about whether or not they stick around you constantly and if they become jealous of you being with other friends. Often times the other party can become severely jealous of "outsiders" and may try to wreck your friendship. This is not cool.
Step6
Do they communicate with you? Does this friend openly communicate yours and their feelings with you? Try to communicate problems with them and take notice with what happens. Most of the times an abusive friend will shut you out entirely.
Step7
Examine your relationship with this person on the outside. Think about it as a stranger would. Does the friendship seem normal to you or does it seem to be a destructive one? You decide and always trust your instincts.
Step8
Take necessary action to fix the relationship or walk away for good. Though they say most people never change their ways, one should always have a bit of faith in a friend. Try to make them open up and understand where you are coming from. It may take time or may not work, but know that it is always up to you to make things right in your own life.

Tips & Warnings

  • Friendships are fragile things and always know that a careful approach to any situation is necessary.
  • Never point fingers and raise your voice. Talk in a calm manner and don't put the blame on the other party when trying to have a discussion.
  • Open up about all of your problems in an understanding manner. Everything must be said to get anywhere.
  • If a friend is too abusive and has a past of being harmful, it is best to walk away. If you have fears about your safety NEVER hesitate to get the proper authorities involved.

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eHow Article: How to tell if you're in an abusive friendship

Article By: Kate J

Kate J

Authority Authority | 21532 Points

Category: Relationships & Family

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