How to Help Your Child Cope With a Bully
Parents today worry more about the possibility of their children becoming victims of school bullies, and rightly so. Here's what you can do to protect your child.
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Instructions
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Look for signs. Many children will not complain about being bullied at school, but rather will express a desire, often sudden, to avoid certain school activities such as riding the bus, or even to avoid school altogether. This can take the form of psychosomatic illness or dropping out of previously favored activities.
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Take your child's concerns about bullying seriously. Especially in the wake of recent events, the need to prevent school violence must be paramount.
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Assess the severity of the situation. If your child has been physically harmed or threatened with physical harm, notify the school immediately and insist that it take immediate action to protect your child from violence.
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Work with your child to brainstorm ways to deal with a less severe bullying situation directly, and help him make a plan. The more you can empower your children to manage their own affairs, the greater their self-esteem will become.
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Explain the dynamics of bullying to your child. Help him understand that bullying comes from the bully's low self-esteem; that is, a bully can only feel big by making others feel small.
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Bolster your child's confidence. Despite their behavior, bullies are basically cowards, and gravitate toward easy marks. Encourage your child not to react to a bully's taunts, enroll him in a martial arts class, or otherwise make your child a less attractive target.
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Keep a close eye on the situation. If things don't improve, or if your child begins to express concerns about his personal safety, don't hesitate to contact the school and get a resolution to the problem.
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Tips & Warnings
Look for signs of victimization with daughters, as well as sons. Girls are bullied too, though often in different ways.
Resist the temptation to contact the bully or the bully's parents directly. Usually, this only serves to expand the conflict and escalate the bullying.
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Comments
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chestnutsumo85
Apr 11, 2007
A few tips of things you can say to a bully: " The only reason you keep saying that is because those are some of the very few words you know." " I might have have buck teeth but when I get braces they will be perfect but you're always going to be ugly" and my favourite, if they say something like " I think you're ugly" or " I think you're a dork" just go " Thats amazing - I didn't know you're brain was big enough to think". Harsh but it shuts them up, especially if they are with their possy. -
chestnutsumo85
Apr 11, 2007
A few tips of things you can say to a bully: " The only reason you keep saying that is because those are some of the very few words you know." " I might have have buck teeth but when I get braces they will be perfect but you're always going to be ugly" and my favourite, if they say something like " I think you're ugly" or " I think you're a dork" just go " Thats amazing - I didn't know you're brain was big enough to think". Harsh but it shuts them up, especially if they are with their possy.
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chestnutsumo85
Apr 11, 2007
When I was in Year 1 I was bullied for 3 whole years. It was a long time ago but the pain is still there. Unfortunately, the bully was a real drama queen and evertime I sought help, she cried and accused me of bullying her. Once she said I had thrown a pair of scissors at her! In the end it only stopped because her mother demanded she moved classes away from that "wild bully". But recently somebody started picking on me and I have found that a few short harp words in the right spot can help. Peace out.
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chestnutsumo85
Apr 11, 2007
When I was in Year 1 I was bullied for 3 whole years. It was a long time ago but the pain is still there. Unfortunately, the bully was a real drama queen and evertime I sought help, she cried and accused me of bullying her. Once she said I had thrown a pair of scissors at her! In the end it only stopped because her mother demanded she moved classes away from that "wild bully". But recently somebody started picking on me and I have found that a few short harp words in the right spot can help. Peace out.
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KarenC
Jan 13, 2007
I agree with the second commender, Susan Alden. I would contact the school, however, if you are concerned about retribution against your child, an option, might be to research the sensitivity training yourself and present the school with some info about implementing it, instead of just suggesting it and waiting for the school to act.
