How to Fix Your Marriage

You can fix a failing marriage if you and your spouse put forth a conscious effort to rekindle the romance and address the problems that have caused your relationship to sour. Sometimes, just taking the time to reconnect with each other again will correct any problems you may be having and bring the spark back into your marriage. Read on to learn how to fix your marriage.

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

1. Identify the problems and take adequate measures to correct them. Whether your marital problems stem from infidelity, in-laws,or anything in between, you must work past them before you can begin to fix your marriage. Leaving the door open for honest communication is very important when learning to rely on each other again for emotional support. Speak openly and honestly about the problems afflicting your marriage, discuss the effects the problems have had on both of you, and learn to forgive each other’s transgressions.

2. Date each other again to restore your marriage. When you and your spouse first started dating, you probably couldn’t get enough of each other’s company. Unfortunately, after the wedding, most couples stop dating and this can mean trouble for the marriage. Your spouse needs to know how important he or she is to you and the two of you need the quality time that a weekly date night provides. Go out to dinner and try not to discuss other problems, your children, or money issues. Take this time to talk about each other’s day and rekindle romance. Gaze into each other’s eyes and enjoy each other’s company again. At first, it may feel strange to go out without your children or friends, but after a few weeks, you’ll begin to enjoy this weekly, marriage-strengthening ritual. If money is an issue, you can still enjoy a night out together. Go out for a simple dinner, stop for ice cream, and walk hand in hand in the park. Your weekly date doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive as long as you're spending quality time together.

3. Rekindle the romance to fix your marriage. Hire a babysitter and go away for the weekend, even if you’re just checking into a hotel in the next town. Spend your romantic weekend making love and getting to know each other again. Spring for a room with a hot tub and a fireplace to enhance your romantic escapades and be sure to pack a few romance inducing items that will help you recapture the lust you and your spouse once had for each other.

4. Place your spouse first in your life. Your spouse should be the most important person in your life. Your parents will pass on, your children will move away, and one day, you will be alone with your spouse again. Talk to your spouse about his or her day, listen to his or her problems, and be attentive to his or her needs. In order to grow old together, you’ll need to become best friends and treat each other with the utmost respect.

5. Seek marriage counseling if you feel that your marital problems are too big for you and your spouse to handle or if the above steps haven’t brought you closer together. Sometimes there is no simple fix to repair a failing marriage. You may find it necessary to seek the advice of a professional marriage counselor in order to work past your problems and rekindle the love you once had for your spouse. A marriage counselor will help you address your marital problems and find ways that you and your spouse can work together to fix them. He or she may be able to help you better understand your spouse’s feelings and suggest ways to prevent the problems from reoccurring. Don’t be embarrassed about consulting a counselor. You don’t have to tell anyone that you’re having marriage difficulties or that you’re seeing a counselor and there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help when you need it. It may just be the single most important step you can take to fix your marriage.

Tips & Warnings

• Don’t allow friends and family to interfere with your marital issues. The marital problems facing a man and his wife are personal and shouldn’t be subject to opinions and poor advice from bitter in-laws and meddling friends.