How to Care for Elderly Parents

Caring for aging parents is a difficult task. While it can be very rewarding, it is also filled with pitfalls and moments of second-guessing yourself. Whatever you do, don’t despair. Just as they learned by raising you, you will find yourself learning by being compassionate towards them.

Instructions

How to Care for Elderly Parents

1. Prepare a checklist for yourself, adding whatever items you believe are relevant to assisting them and any question you have about their requests. It might include: What type of help do they need? Are they okay home alone? What kind of living arrangements and different facilities are available? How can I keep them socially connected? And the dreaded topic of finances.

2. Accumulate the basic information on your parents. Protect the private information and update the essential medical information regularly. Some basics to gather are their birthdates, social security numbers and driver’s license numbers if they have one. Always have a list of current medications in an easy to retrieve location. Make copies of health insurance policies and insurance cards.

3. If they have a will, durable power of attorney for finances and health care and living will be sure to get a copy. If they want to keep this information private, respect their request and keep the copies sealed or with their attorney. As long as you know where to locate them when it is necessary, that should be enough.

4. Sit down with your parents and have an open discussion about your list. Ask your questions and be prepared to answer any questions they may have for you. From the information you gather, formalize your checklist and begin your research. Other tasks will undoubtedly come up along the way. When they do, prioritize them and add them to the list.

5. Whatever you do, be subtle. Your parents will be resentful if they feel you are taking their independence from them, therefore, be sure to include them in decision making as often as possible. If you make a decision without them, be sure to explain it fully and keep them informed throughout the process.

6. Find out about community resources. Visit the local senior center, find out about the activities at their clubhouse if they are in a senior community. Contact their hospital and doctors for other support groups available.

7. Keep good notes on everything from doctor appointments to neighbors' names. Be sure to communicate with other family members and include others opinions in your decision making. Realize every professional associated with your parents care may not complete every task they are assigned and be prepared to follow up.

Tips & Warnings

• If all of this seems like too much, consider hiring a care manager or invest in long-term care insurance.

• Remember that this is going to be difficult, so be sure to take care of yourself in the process.