How to Hula-Hoop a Tractor Tire

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By dizzyhips
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tractor hoopin in telluride

TOP TEN REASONS FOR HULA-HOOPING A TRACTOR TIRE:
1. Tractor Tire makes a great digestive aid.

2. Works well as a massage tool, if by massage you actually mean "bruise"

3. good core strength training for those of us who think torture chambers, tupperware parties and pilates classes suck.

4. it rolls better than a yoga mat

5. It smells better than farts

6. Makes a great car top carrier-holds 50 hula-hoops!

7. Efficient and fun transportation: as long as you get inside and always roll down hill. ps - try avoid trucks, rhinos and cliffs

8. Gets 500% better traction than a regular hula-hoop

9. there is absolutely no reason to have a 9th reason!

10. It replaces inner tubing with a new sport called "tiring"

11. It's easier than hula-hooping the whole tractor!

12 A great breast self-check; if you have any tender areas, tractor tire will find them.

13. It affects the brain in such a way that you never have to be bothered with counting again.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

A tractor tire, a positive attitude (ie foolish), and a high-density polyethylene rib cage.

Step 1

Learn to hula-hoop (read my how to hula-hoop article)
Step 2

Set an appointment with the chiropractor
Step 3

Use a sharpie to number your ribs so you can remember which order they were in originally.
Step 4

Pick up the tractor tire
Step 5

Just kidding, you won't be able to pick it up, just rest the inside rim on your lower back and and start turning in a circle with it.
Step 6

A phenomonon called "the centrifugal force" (a force that binds and surrounds all hula-hoopers) will be with you, and if the centrifugal force is with you, you can do anything!
Step 7

Don't worry either the tire or your ribs will get "tired" first, then go home and make friends with the arnica gel.

Tips & Warnings

May the centrifugal force be with you! May your 1-4th chakras forgive you.
Try to avoid consuming alcohol, food water or anything that could be squeezed out of your stomach with 1200 lbs/ square inch of pressure.
wear old clothes- or you'll get your new one dirty!