How to Deal With Emotions

Many people are never taught how to deal with their emotions. Because they do not know how to deal with their emotions, they wind up repressing their emotions instead. For people who have endured painful life situations, they can wind up engaging in unhealthy behaviors to avoid dealing with their emotions, such as by abusing substances or taking out their frustrations on the wrong person. Expressing emotions is the healthiest way to release the pent up feelings.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Recognize the importance of dealing with emotions. Unexpressed emotions affect your life. For example, many people who struggle with ongoing depression or anxiety are actually angry. Because the unexpressed anger has nowhere to go, the person experiences the repressed anger as depression or anxiety. If you want to take control over your emotional life, you need to deal with your emotions instead of repressing them.

2. Label your emotions. Many people who have never learned how to deal with their emotions have a difficult time even identifying what those emotions are. Some people might feel anger when the emotion that they are actually dealing with is pain. Others might cry and feel sad in situations in which anger is really the more appropriate emotion. Practice labeling each emotion that you are experiencing.

3. Decide to deal with your emotions as you have them. Emotions must be expressed. You can either deal with your emotions as you have them, or you can put a lot of energy into repressing them and just wind up having to deal with a more powerful version of your emotions later. Resolve to deal with your emotions as you experience them.

4. Recognize that expressed emotions do not last. If you will deal with your emotions as you have them, they will go away much faster. While you might feel incredibly angry in the moment, your anger will pass as long as you deal with it. Only repressed emotions linger for a very long time.

5. Express your anger in a physical way. Anger can be daunting for many people to deal with. Anger is best dealt with physically, especially if you have a lot of repressed anger to process. Choose a physical activity that will not harm another person or yourself. Some good ways to deal with anger include punching pillows, hitting the ground with a baseball bat, popping balloons, taking a kickboxing class and going for a brisk walk.

6. Cry out your pain. Tears can heal a wounded spirit. However, many people have a hard time dealing with grief and sorrow. Try watching a sad movie and allowing yourself to cry for the characters. Set aside time to let yourself "wallow" for a little while. You will feel much better after a good cry.

7. Comfort your fears. Many people who suffered from trauma in childhood struggle with feelings of terror. Comfort yourself through those feelings. Visualize yourself comforting the child you once were. See yourself wrapping a thick blanket around your terrified inner child and hold that child close to your heart.

8. Enjoy a good laugh. A good laugh can be incredibly healing. Do not stifle your joy. Instead, deal with your joy by giving in to an urge to laugh. A good belly laugh can do wonders for a person's emotional state.

Tips & Warnings

• Repressed emotions only grow stronger, so you can feel a little bit angry right now or extremely angry later. The way to diffuse a powerful emotion is to deal with it in the moment.
• Emotions do not last if you express them. There are no "shoulds" when it comes to feeling emotions. It does not matter whether you "should" feel angry. If you do feel angry, you need to express that emotion in a safe way. As long as you remember this, you will have a much easier time dealing with emotions.

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[nccu9902]

on 4/6/2009 This is a great article!!!

[shidao]

on 3/9/2009 how do you express an emotion of chaos? when one feels out of control and in despair? the meltdown may cause unhealthy actions - should someone then express those emotions?? who has the rational sense at the time to do a healthy act with such negative emotions? even if you do, isn't it ultimately unsatisfying and therefore could be the catalyst for something worse in the future?