How to Talk to Kids About Death

Your kids are your life. It is also your responsibility to talk to them and teach them about life--birth, death, and everything in between. These can be extremely difficult conversations and many can come about because of painful situations. This is especially true with death. But starting early will help curb the shock, pain and misunderstanding. Read on to learn how to talk to kids about death.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Start talking to your child early. Far too often, as parents, we try to protect our children from everything, thus, robbing them of the learning experiences we had at their age. Nothing is more dangerous. Talking to them about death is important when they are young.

2. Make a list of every time something comes up during the day that involves death: the newspaper, the news on TV, their cartoons, a pet died, movies or other moments. There are a myriad of ways kids are exposed to the realities of death.

3. Make a point of talking to your kids about it when those things comes up. Let them know in simple terms that death is the opposite of birth. That we all get old. When they see something violent, let them know there are bad guys out there that do bad things, but the police are taking care of it and nothing will happen to them.

4. Rely on religious teachings if you are religious to show them there is hope and a life after death; that death is very short and a doorway through which people pass before being happy forever.

5. Go to your local library or bookstore and get books on death. There are a ton of books written for kids that will help them understand it and relate to it.

6. Get some gold fish. This may sound funny, but it is the one pet that dies most often, is easy replaceable, and that kids are not so attached to like a dog or cat or bird. When the fish dies, talk to them about it. Have a funeral for it and bury it in the backyard.

7. Ask them if they have any questions or feelings. You want them to feel comfortable coming to you with questions or feelings.

8. Don't be afraid to say 'I don't know.' If they ask you were we go after we die, and you don't know, that's fine; say it, then try to find out together. Let them believe what they want to believe. It is a way of finding comfort.

Tips & Warnings

• While death is common in today's media, make sure you shield them from the violent deaths often portrayed in movies until they are of the appropriate age. These deaths will skew the way they see death.
• If someone has passed away and your kids keep asking about it or seem disrespectful, do not lose your temper. Remember, they are innocent in their outlook. A cool head prevailing, this can be an important time to teach them.