How to Get on a Jury
Some people don't mind doing their civic duty by being on a jury. For some, it holds some appeal and sometimes people just want to be privy to the gory details of a case. Maybe it’s just curiosity about how the system really works or sheer boredom, but if you really want to get on a jury and have been called for jury duty, here’s the best way to be selected.
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Instructions
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Refrain from having an opinion on anything. The lawyers, and in the really big cases the jury consultants, want people they can bring around to their point of view. If you appear too smart or too well-informed, they will probably choose someone else for the jury.
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Avoid all contact with police, doctors, lawyers and anyone else likely to be asked to testify in a jury trial. The more people you know, the more likely that someone you know will be a part of the case. This can mean that the parents of your children’s friends and fellow church members should be avoided. By the way, go to church. This makes you seem like you know the difference between right and wrong.
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Drop out of college. Much like lawyers don’t want you to have an opinion on anything, they don’t want jurors who know too much. Demonstrating a clear understanding of the medical terms involved in the case or knowing a little too much about the manufacturing methods for methamphetamine will probably get you asked to leave the jury box.
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Appear earnest. Make it clear to the judge and the lawyers that you can and will sit for hours or stay for days to see that justice prevails. To make sure you leave this impression, do not bring anything with you to jury duty and make sure to turn off your cell phone. Better yet, leave it in the car.
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Have a menial job. Again, this seems to be part of the prejudice that lawyers have against learning. They assume that being a hotel desk clerk makes you more qualified to judge a medical malpractice suit that the English professor from the local college. This may be the only time that menial labor is favored. Certainly don’t mention that you got the job after finishing your master’s degree in philosophy. That would be entirely too much knowledge for the entire jury.
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Tips & Warnings
Be sure to turn off your cell phone in the courtroom. Nothing spells the end of jury duty quite like a contempt of court citation.
