How to Tell a Child You Are Gay

Coming out as a gay individual is difficult for anyone. However, explaining to your child that you are gay is incredibly difficult. You will encounter confusion and possibly anger. With understanding and love, you can tell your child that you are gay and strengthen your relationship with your child.

Things You'll Need

• Parent
• Partner
• Child
• Time to talk with your child
• The ability to be patient and understanding

Instructions

How to Tell Your Child You Are Gay

1. Talk to your child about love. Children are very impressionable and despite what many people may think, they understand a lot more then what they are given credit for. Explain to your child what love is. Do not use terminology such as a man and a woman. Instead, emphasize that love is between two people.

2. Explain to your child how you feel. Explain to your child how you feel about your partner and emphasize that you love him or her. Make sure you verbally reinforce to your child how important he or she is and how much you love her or him. It is important that your child does not feel that your partner is a threat. Otherwise, you are guaranteed a negative reaction.

3. Expect that your child may be confused. Don’t expect things to be peachy keen when you tell your child the news. He or she may be confused. After all, many of your child’s friends have both a mother and a father so it may not make sense to your child why he or she would have two mommies or two daddies. The best way to react to your child’s confusion is to offer reassurance and reinforcement.

4. Be prepared to answer questions. It is very likely that your child will have many questions. Some of these questions may seem silly to you but you must understand that your child looks at things in very simple terms. If you don’t understand what your child is asking, ask him or her to explain herself. It is important that both of you communicate clearly, especially about this.

5. Be patient with your child if he or she is angry. While your child does love you, it is very possible that he or she may be angry with you or your partner. Understand that your child is confused at this point in time and unsure of what you just told him or her. Your child knows this will make his family different from his or her friends’ families and that is a likely reason why he or she would be angry. It’s important to encourage your child to express his anger to you in order to help you understand. Remember that all families are different and it’s not who is in them that make it a great family, it’s the love that exists between the members. Good luck!

Tips & Warnings

• Make sure you talk to your child one on one when you tell him or her you are gay. He or she deserves your full attention when you have this conversation.

• Do not ignore your child’s questions. Answer them to best of your ability.