How to Develop Effective Listening Skills

Listening is a skill that is deceptively demanding. David Barkan once said that "Easy listening only exists on the radio." This is more true than we would readily want to believe. In order to develop effective listening skills, you have to put in a fair share of work along with having some proven techniques to improve your ability to be an "active listener". This article provides some of those techniques.

Things You'll Need

• An ear that's ready to listen
• A decent amount of discipline
• Someone to listen to

Instructions

1. Look at the person who is speaking to you. Eye contact is a definite must. Don't go overboard to the point of looking weird, but make fairly frequent eye contact with the speaker to let them know that you're still actively engaged in the conversation.

2. Ask questions. This helps the speaker feel that you are genuinely interested in what they're saying. Pick out certain aspects of what they're telling you and "probe" for more information through questions. For example, if someone is telling you about what they did back when they were in college, ask them "What college did you go to?" Simple questions like that reaffirm your interest in the speaker.

3. Don't interrupt. This can frustrate the speaker and make him/her feel as if you don't consider what they say to be important enough to hear the completion of the thought.

4. Body language is a definite indicator of your involvement level in the conversation. If you're assuming a laid-back, nonchalant, disengaged posture, it communicates to the speaker that you have a "take it or leave it" attitude towards what they're saying. But if you intently lean towards the speaker and give physical attention to him/her, it communicates a definite involvement in what they're saying.

5. Try not to change the subject. Changing the subject immediately sends the message that you're not fully interested or invested in what the speaker is saying.

6. Try not to think about and prepare what you're going to say while the other person is talking. This is a hard one, because most of us mentally "drift off" into preparing our response before we really hear the completion of the other person's sentence.

7. Empathize with the speaker. Do your best to put yourself in his/her shoes. This will help you gain a better perspective of where they're coming from, and will add weight to their words in your mind.

Tips & Warnings

• These techniques have to be practiced over and over again. Don't get frustrated any time you feel like you're "falling short". Just keep practicing until they become a habit.

• While these techniques do work well, use these newfound powers for good only, and not for evil. :)

Resources

• The International Listening Association