How to approach your spouse about alcohol abuse

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By emmabushyo
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Does someone you love misuse alcohol and you are tired of standing by and watching it? Do you feel as if you are contributing to their disease by not saying anything? Read on for tips in how to best approach them.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

Alcoholism is a disease of denial. Be prepared to be met with resistance, and at first, be prepared to simply plant some seeds. Some people will not hear what you have to say. The truth is either too intimidating or too close to home. It is important that you not expect quick results or a welcome response. The bottom line is that you approach this person with love, acknowledge that they are sick even if they aren't willing to, and not take offense at their response to your concern.
Step 2

Before you approach your loved one read the chapter To The Wives in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Although outdated and totally written in reference to a worried wife in reguards to her alcoholic husband, this chapter has great insight in how to approach the a loved one of any gender.
Step 3

The best time to approach your loved one is NOT while they are drinking. The best time to approach them is after a drinking spree, in the morning when they wake remorseful, possibly ill. This is when they are at their worst. Even as awful as they feel at this moment and how hard it is for you to believe that within hours they will feel fine again and ready for their next spree....in a few hours they will not be as receptive to your concern as they are at that moment.
Step 4

Research alcoholism. Find a survey for them to take. Have them answer the questions, as silly as it might be, and have them see for themselves how they might rate on a scale of potential alcohol abuse.
Step 5

Ask them what is important to them. They may feel sincerely that their productivity increases with the alcohol they consume... ask them about the areas that really matter. Are they really a better student? A better husband or wife? A better mother or father? Do they do their job better? Or do they call out sick? Arrange outings around the availablity of alcohol? Miss out on events/holidays/family gatherings because of their drinking? Do they miss work? Ect.
Step 6

Be patient. In the beginning it may just be the seed you plant that makes the difference in the future.

Comments

larryharnar said

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on 3/4/2009 Alcohol and substance abuse can be a devastating problem for families. It's good to see someone offering ideas on how family members should approach their loved ones about their problem. Thanks!