How to Understand Why Men Leave Relationships

For years we hear about the men who run away from relationships because they fear commitment. In the book “Why Men Leave”, Dr. Shoshanna introduces several thought provoking theories about why men leave relationship. Dr. Shoshanna interviewed hundreds of men from various backgrounds and her book is written based on their answers and comments. Read on to find out why men say they leave relationships

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Don't make marriage your goal. Just have fun and let life happen.
   
   Several of the men interviewed by Dr. Shoshanna stated women are always looking for the ring. This makes men feel used. They feel like the woman is looking for securitty or a meal ticket and is never sure about the love. The woman may not even know she is sending out these signals, and by the time she figures it out he could be long gone.
2. Do not try to control him.
   
   Men feel women want to tame or change them. To avoid falling in that trap, they choose to leave the relationship. Some of the men felt that a woman who always wanted to know where they were, what they did or how they spent their day was trying to manage them. Such men don’t like feeling managed and their response is to leave the relationship.
3. Women complain too much.
   
   One of Dr. Shoshanna’s subjects stated that relationships started off just great until the woman thinks she has him hooked and then the complaints start. He said women complain about the way he dress, that he doesn’t listen, he is not attentive enough. Such complaining made the men feel demeaned as if he had been reduce to his childhood with his mother chastising him. Instead of trying to fix the problem, they just leave. Dr. Shoshanna explains that such reactions are based on deep childhood issues. The man probably spent a lot of his time as a child trying to express himself to his mother just to have her squash anything he had to say. When a woman starts sounding like his mother, they automatically deduce that they can not win the argument and therefore do not even try. It is much easier to just leave.
4. Dr. Shoshanna explains in her book that men do not leave relationships simply because they “fear commitment”. It is a lot more than that and it usually stems from unresolved childhood issues. The best thing you can do is know exactly what you want from a relationship and that includes any imperfections or mistakes you are willing to tolerate. You cannot control or manage him and trying is counter-productive. Check out Dr. Shoshanna’s website and get more relationship information (free!) and answers to questions women ask everyday.

Tips & Warnings

• Acknowledge that people makes mistakes and decide for yourself what you can or cannot tolerate in your relationships.
• Listen when your mate talks to you. Many men find it difficult to open up so when he does, listen.
• Be comfortable with who you are and know that the “Old Maid” days are long gone.