How to Avoid an Argument

Have you ever listened to a one-sided argument? The type of argument where one person does all the talking, all the yelling, all the accusations and the other person is not permitted to answer, express their feelings or say anything? Those are not the types of communication that are healthy for the average human being. And so I write this article that tells you how you might avoid being on the wrong end of a one-sided argument. Right after this comment and email box, I finish this article. At the end of the article, I have posted some awesome video links. If you have time to listen to only one of the videos, check out the one called, "God's Will" by Martina McBride.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Willingness to have an open heart
• Open mind
• Kindness
• Determination
• Time to watch these videos
• Time to reflect
• Time to realize that it takes two people to argue and YOU are one that can take yourself out of it
• Time to read my other articles
• And, kindly, leave a note. I would love to hear from anyone reading these articles because I want some honest, feedback on my writing. Thank you so much.

1. Remember a time when you were strong, and be strong today. Stay out of it. (C)1990 Lindaperry, all rights reserved, no copies w/o prior written permission. Violations billed at $500. per incident. First assess the situation. In some arguments, if the argument is escalated, you might be in a dangerous situation. If you are in a room with a person who demands an argument, and that person has a weapon, leave the place immediately. Notify the police if you feel that you are in real danger. But first remove yourself from the premises.
2. (C)2008 Lindaperry, all rights reserved. No copies w/o prior written permission. Violations billed at $500. per incident It is totally up to you whether you want to be in this argument or not. It does not pay to discuss or argue with a totally unreasonable individual. You will get nowhere and the individual will lose their temper over and over again. So make your choices, decide whether there is danger or not.
   
   Then go on to step three to read what to do if you decide to stay there for a few more minutes because there is no danger of violence but the person is having only a verbal altercation.
3. Silly as this seems, you can not argue with a person who is not inside the argument. It is as simple and as hard as that. If someone wants to argue with you, accuse you of something that you did not do, or just in general, wants to be angry at you, the way to avoid this argument is to stay the heck out of it.
   
   There are ways that you can stay out of it and thus avoid the argument. One person cannot argue. You need at least two or three people to have an argument.
   
   YOU be the one to remove yourself and you have the power to avoid the argument. Now, I am not talking about not communicating. I am not talking about being distant or being unsociable. I am speaking about those times and situations where you obviously have done nothing wrong. Those situations where you are in the right, and another person just wants to keep arguing with you, accusing you of doing things that you have not done. I am speaking of being with a person who is angry at someone else and is taking that anger out on you, instead of approaching that someone else and speaking to them about the problem.
   
   These are the arguments that you need to keep yourself out of.
   
   So, here are the steps. These are your choices:
   
   A. You can emotionally take yourself out of the argument. This is easily done by not listening to the complaints, accusations or the condemning words that the person might be speaking with you or at you.
   
   B. You can physically take yourself out of the argument --indirectly-- by removing yourself to another room with a good reason or good excuse, such as to go to the restroom, go to the kitchen for a glass of water, or even go outside to get a breath of fresh air on a hot day. All of these reasons to leave the room are valid and they are your right to do so.
   
   C. When you come back to the room, if the person is still accusing you, yelling at you, or demanding that you participate in an argument that you do not want to take part in, then you can choose to sit there and ignore the remarks, or you can choose to decide to go home, to leave the premises in a few minutes. Announce that you have to leave soon. Wait a few minutes --however much time is appropriate. And then do as you have announced, begin to leave and then leave the premises.
   
   D. You can physically and emotionally take yourself out of the argument by not permitting yourself to get on the person's level. You can stop the talking and change the subject. You can laugh. Look for Tips.

Tips & Warnings

• Do any or all of the actions above, but do only that which is safe for you to do. Only you know your situation, so only you can be the judge of what to do in any given situation.
• If you are in a room with many individuals and the person is arguing with you only, pay attention to those people who are not arguing with you. Do not reward the person who is arguing by paying attention to them and by ignoring the polite guests. Instead, pay attention to the polite guests and ignor the person who is demanding that you argue with them.
• In MOST situations, it is best if you leave, but remember the decision is yours. The responsibility for your own actions is yours.
• DISCLAIMER: The author is not a legal, medical or financial professional and writes these articles for entertainment and information only. The reader assumes all responsibilities for their own inactions, actions or non-actions that might result from reading this or any of author's other articles, books or brochures. Never, ever do anything that is unsafe for you. Listen to your own inner instinct as long as this instinct does not harm others or yourself.
• Check out Martina McBride's cd called EMOTION ; the songs are beautiful!
• http://youtube.com/watch?v=W9nVoQpB7cE&feature=user and check the resources section of this article.
• Be sure to read this disclaimer:
• DISCLAIMER: The author is not a legal, medical or financial professional and writes these articles for entertainment and information only. The reader assumes all responsibilities for their own inactions, actions or non-actions that might result from reading this or any of author's other articles, books or brochures. Never, ever do anything that is unsafe for you. Listen to your own inner instinct as long as this instinct does not harm others or yourself.
• If you listen to only one of the videos below, listen to God's Will.