How to Fake Being Sick to the School Nurse

You practically live in the school nurse's office and she's on to your antics. If you've spent your share of days faking illness to the school nurse, it's time to come up with some new tricks. These steps will get you in the office and out the front door so you get back to bed in minutes flat.

Instructions

1. Convince your parents that you're not feeling well before you leave for school. Have one of them write a note to the nurse that says you may not feel well and you may need to come home early today. The nurse can't argue with a pre-approved sick note.

2. Tell the school nurse that you have a headache, but you think it's going to subside if you can have a few minutes of quiet time to lie down and rest. Curl up on the cot and have yourself a nice nap. If you show her you want ultimately want to stay at school, you look responsible and believable.

3. Throw up. Most schools have policies that you must go home if you throw up at school, so save a little milk from lunch, pour it in the toilet, add some chewed up crackers and be sure to make lots of loud noises that someone-anyone-can hear. Have them take you directly to the nurse. Nothing beats a live witness.

4. Give yourself a rash. Teachers don't like rashes, so rub some poison ivy on your arm or wash your clothes with the soap you're allergic to. Show your teacher what your prized accomplishment. Be sure to scratch and wince. One look is all she needs to have you out the door.

5. Claim to have a migraine. There really is nothing a nurse can do to fix a migraine. The only solution is to go home, crawl under the covers and wait for it to pass. And you can't possibly do that at school, right?