How to Resolve a Dispute With a Neighbor

Your neighbors can be a blessing or a curse. One thing they will always be is right next door, so strive for cooperation rather than conflict.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Find out the facts. Determine whether this disturbance is a one-time problem or a constant occurrence.

2. Vent your feelings before you approach your neighbor: Talk to a friend or spouse, whack your bed with a tennis racket or roll up the windows in your car and scream.

3. Write it out. Get clear about what is bothering you and what you want done.

4. Figure out who is responsible for the disturbance. You want to negotiate with the proper party.

5. Talk to your other neighbors and find out whether they share your concern. This is simply for your information; try not to aggravate the situation by building an angry alliance.

6. Arrange a time to meet with your neighbor and choose a neutral location.

7. Ease into it. Start off with some good ol' style banter.

8. Create a cooperative atmosphere. Rather than attacking your neighbor, ask for assistance in finding a solution.

9. Find common ground and focus on what you do agree on.

10. Search for a solution that satisfies both parties' needs.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep a record of your interactions.
• Be neighborly, keep an open mind and be willing to compromise.
• Write a letter presenting your concern if you are uncomfortable meeting in person.
• Turn to an outside authority if you can't work it out on your own. Seek help from your local conflict resolution center, police, zoning board or city health department.
• Stop negotiating if your neighbor behaves unreasonably and the situation worsens; enlist a neutral party to assist you.

[amaramarsagar]

on 12/17/2008 thanks

[JB1114]

on 7/30/2008 Searching for a solution that "satisfies both parties needs" is fine unless, you have a neighbor with a "steamrolling" personality that is trying their best to bully you into doing something that you don't want to do. If that's the case,you have to continue to calmly push back on them (verbally and politely)

until they get the point that you aren't going to let them impose their will on you. Prepare yourself for a child-like temper tantrum but,continue to stand strong with a smile on your face while repeating "I don't know what to tell you."