How to Attend Parents' Night

Parent-teacher conferences may always be a bit uncomfortable (do they have to make you sit in those itty-bitty chairs?), but they need not be confrontational. Follow the steps below to keep you and the teacher on the same team: your child's!

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Pens
• Personal Organizers
• Spiral Notebooks
• Pens

1. Attend! If possible, both parents should participate. Don't make the mistake of assuming that because your child seems to be doing OK in school, you don't need to get involved.

2. Be prepared. Review your child's schoolwork and report cards. Decide which three to four issues you want to address with the teacher in the 20 to 30 minutes you will spend together.

3. Ask the teacher what concerns he or she may have about your child's school performance.

4. Be forthcoming. Family issues such as the death of a grandparent, an impending divorce or a parent's job loss may affect your child's school performance temporarily. The more the teacher knows, the more he or she can help.

5. If you and the teacher identify problems, focus on ways to help rather than on placing blame. Remember that you and the teacher have the same goal of helping your child succeed.

6. Take notes. Write down the specifics of the discussion so that you can refer to your notes later.

7. Respect the teacher's schedule. He or she has already put in a full teaching day and may well have five to seven conferences scheduled back-to-back each evening. If you need to address something beyond the time limits of the conference, ask to schedule another meeting.

8. Make a plan. Identify specific steps to take, as well as who is responsible for doing what, and by when.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid becoming defensive. You may not agree with everything the teacher says, and you should certainly express your view of the situation, but avoid falling into the "Not MY child!" trap.

[mrsjester]

on 8/9/2009 As a teacher, I appreciate the part about respecting the teacher's schedule. It always puts us towards the defensive when we feel "ambushed". I also advise that parents try to set up a time in the afternoon when the child will be available to stay as well. Having the student sit in on the conference helps hold them accountable. I always have myself, the parents, and the student sign the "agenda" or the "solutions" so that we are all aware of what steps are going to take place on the part of each of us as necessary.

on 11/22/2005 When I was in middle school and semi-annual reports came home, nearly every kid who had average or below average grades reacted by saying "My Mom's gonna kill me!" With parents these days, if a child's mark is below the norm, it's automatically assumed that they're being lazy. If this happens, don't get angry! Before going to the meeting, ask your kid if THEY think they've been slacking off, or if they just don't understand the material.