How to Help Your Child Make Friends at a New School

It's hard to be the new kid, but here's how you can help your child survive and thrive in a new school.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Contact the new school as soon as you know your child will be attending. Ask for whatever suggestions or support the staff can offer to help your child connect with classmates.
2. Address your child's practical concerns with specifics. Brainstorm ways to handle particular situations, such as whom to sit with on the bus, whom to eat lunch with and how to remember all those names.
3. With a younger child, rehearse conversations she might have with a potential new friend. Suggest that your child approach a potential friend with a question or remark that will engage the person in an ongoing dialogue, which might lead to a conversation about a shared interest.
4. Encourage your child to join whatever clubs, teams or other groups relate to her interests.
5. Emphasize that making friends takes time. Celebrate small successes such as learning the names of all the girls in chemistry class or getting invited to someone's sleepover.
6. Be a good role model. Share with your child your own feelings about the family's recent move and how you are going about making your own new friends.
7. Be a good friend. Recognize that your child will need some extra support and understanding from you to make a successful transition.

Tips & Warnings

• As the saying goes, make new friends, but keep the old. Encourage your child to keep in touch with friends from the old school or neighborhood by supplying her with stationery and stamps or an e-mail account.
• Most new friendships take time to develop. If, however, your child seems to have made no progress toward establishing new relationships after a few months, consider talking with a family counselor.