How to Help Your Child Make Friends at a New School

It's hard to be the new kid, but here's how you can help your child survive and thrive in a new school.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Contact the new school as soon as you know your child will be attending. Ask for whatever suggestions or support the staff can offer to help your child connect with classmates.

2. Address your child's practical concerns with specifics. Brainstorm ways to handle particular situations, such as whom to sit with on the bus, whom to eat lunch with and how to remember all those names.

3. With a younger child, rehearse conversations she might have with a potential new friend. Suggest that your child approach a potential friend with a question or remark that will engage the person in an ongoing dialogue, which might lead to a conversation about a shared interest.

4. Encourage your child to join whatever clubs, teams or other groups relate to her interests.

5. Emphasize that making friends takes time. Celebrate small successes such as learning the names of all the girls in chemistry class or getting invited to someone's sleepover.

6. Be a good role model. Share with your child your own feelings about the family's recent move and how you are going about making your own new friends.

7. Be a good friend. Recognize that your child will need some extra support and understanding from you to make a successful transition.

Tips & Warnings

• As the saying goes, make new friends, but keep the old. Encourage your child to keep in touch with friends from the old school or neighborhood by supplying her with stationery and stamps or an e-mail account.
• Most new friendships take time to develop. If, however, your child seems to have made no progress toward establishing new relationships after a few months, consider talking with a family counselor.

[ecm1980]

on 6/1/2009 Great article. Moving is hard for everyone in a family, and if you can move into a neighborhood with lots of kids, that just makes it easier.

[mrschadt]

on 3/2/2009 Kids are resilent, most of the time they adjust to change and moving better than we parents do. But it is important to keep you child involved in the move and all them time to adjust before pushing them into unknown territory.

on 8/15/2006 Find out what you can do to volunteer at the school. Getting to know some of the parents of the other children gives you an opportunity to get both your kids and their kids together at cookouts and other functions where they will be more at ease and able to get to know one another better.

on 8/9/2006 Always be kind.
Share with everyone.
Cheer somebody up.
When they're hurt, help them.

on 8/8/2006 1) Be nice.
2) Be confident.
3) Smile and laugh.
4) Hang out once in a while.
5) Join a club or team activity.
6) Don't be afraid to talk to someone.
7) Be yourself.