How to Get Rid of a Loser Date - For Her

You weren't expecting your date to be such a loser! How do you dump him without making a scene? Make it his choice. Disclaimer: Actually following this advice could make you feel like a loser yourself. If you want to be classy and kind, this may not be the best strategy.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Handbags
• Tampons
• Magazines

1. Be strategic - different losers require different techniques. Some take more time than others to get the hint.
2. Bore your date. Offer only the most mundane things about yourself. Look at your knees and mumble. Sigh a lot.
3. Stare blankly when he tells a joke. Laugh inappropriately.
4. Ignore your date. Bring a magazine to read ' the more unlikely, the better: "Highlights for Children," "Soldier of Fortune," "Rod & Custom." Hold your place on the page while you answer questions in monosyllables.
5. Call him by several different wrong names.
6. Show off some less desirable personal habits - grind your teeth, crack your knuckles, chew gum, sniffle and swallow loudly, take food from his plate, swap straws with him every fifth sip. Tap your nails on the table. Snicker for no reason.
7. Worry him. Say wistfully, "My finger is so terribly cold without a ring." Excuse yourself to call your psychiatrist or your mama.
8. Scare him. When he puts his hand on your arm or thigh, inhale sharply and start choking. Wave your hand around meaninglessly while he tries to figure out what's wrong. Do this every time he touches you.
9. Embarrass him. Ask the waiter if the restaurant has any live food. Dig through your purse; pull out random items and set them on the table. The more personal the better.

Tips & Warnings

• Be prepared to pick up the tab and find alternate transportation, if necessary.