How to Help Your Child Cope With the Death of a Pet

The loss of a family pet can be a child's first experience with death. Helping children cope with grief will help them understand a very painful aspect of life and begin the healing process.

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Journals
• Crayons
• Photographs
• Trees
• Art Papers
• Colored Pencils
• Colored Pens
• Colored pens
• Photographs
• Crayons

1. Talk about the pet's health and any decisions to be made prior to the animal's death, if possible.

2. Respond to your children honestly and age-appropriately. While young children will not understand the concept of death, they will feel a tremendous loss. Older children may want to discuss the decline of the pet's health, plans for the body and the concept of death itself.

3. Avoid the commonly used phrase 'putting to sleep.' This phrase can confuse young children, and even scare them as they prepare to go to bed at night.

4. Try to explain the concept of 'dog years' or whatever is applicable to the species of your family pet. But make it clear that Mom and Dad live in 'people years' and are not going anywhere.

5. Ask your veterinarian to answer any medical questions for your children. Older children may have questions about euthanasia'how it is done, what the pet will feel, what equipment is used and what happens to the animal's body.

6. Say good-bye to the pet in a ceremony to make it official. Bury it in a special place (a pet cemetery is an option) so your children can remem-ber the pet whenever they visit this spot.

7. Memorialize your pet in a way that is unique to your family. Plant a tree in your pet's favorite spot in the garden, write down thoughts about fun times spent with the pet, draw pictures, or hang a favorite photo of the pet in your home for all of the family to share.

8. Show your own grief. Children will grow to understand their own feelings better if they see that their sadness is shared by other family members.

9. Encourage children to talk about their feelings, memories of the pet and favorite times spent together.

10. Share the loss with your children's teachers or counselors to explain any changes in behavior and to add further support.

Tips & Warnings

• Many books are available for different ages about dealing withthe death of a family pet. Reading such a book with your child may help him talk about feelings of loss.
• When the family is ready, think about adopting another pet. After a period of mourning, this addition to the family will bring a new set of experiences and will not take anything away from your child's memories of his previous loving companion.
• Seek advice from professional grief counselors who specialize in pet loss.

[renegademom]

on 1/25/2008 I found this article helpful, but would welcome a list of suggested books and the age groups that they are appropriate for to ease discussion of pet death. Thank you!

[renegademom]

on 1/25/2008 Could you suggest some books regarding this topic? I think it would be valuable to have the resources listed.