How to Give a Present to Someone Who Is Grieving

There are a variety of ways you can express your sympathy and support for the bereaved during these difficult times.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Checkbook Wallets
• Flower Bouquets
• Credit Cards And Loans
• Postage Stamps
• Envelopes

In Lieu of Flowers

1. Write a check - usually in an amount slightly larger than what you would have paid to send flowers - to the requested charity or your charity of choice, depending on the family's request. Send a note along with your contribution: "This donation is sent as a contribution in memory of John Doe." Include the address of the bereaved and your own address so that the organization can send acknowledgements of the donation to both parties.

2. Call the church or parish priest and ask whether you can request a mass card (accepted in Catholic and sometimes non-Catholic traditions). By making a contribution of $10 to $20 to the congregation, the parish priest sends you a mass card, which you fill out and send to the family so that a mass can be said for the soul of the deceased.

Flowers

3. Sign the card that accompanies the flowers as follows: "With our deepest sympathy, Jill and Steve." If you are certain that the bereaved will not recognize you by your first name, include your last name as well.

4. Address the envelope, "Funeral of John Doe," along with the address of the church or funeral home. If you did not know the deceased but were acquainted with close relatives, send the flowers directly to their home.

5. Consider sending flowers to the family of the deceased a few days after the burial as well to show your continuing love and support.

Tips & Warnings

• The Catholic and Reform Jewish traditions may not allow flowers for the service, depending on the customs of the local congregation. Call the funeral home ahead of time to be sure.
• Send no flowers for the Orthodox or Conservative Jewish or Chinese traditions, or if the family makes an announcement in the death notice requesting no flowers.

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on 7/28/2007 You can memorialize your loved one’s life with a gift to their favorite charity.

A new nonprofit website, http://www.ChangingThePresent.org lets you choose exactly what you want to accomplish: preserve an acre of the rainforest, provide books for children, fund an hour of cancer research, etc. There are thousands of donation opportunities from hundreds of leading nonprofits. You’re sure to find something that moves you.


Wish lists and registries let us share our passions with others and ensure the perfect gift. Beautiful, personalized greeting cards include a photo and description of the gift you gave.


ChangingThePresent.org is the website of a 501c3 nonprofit, so all of your money, less only a transaction fee of 3% and 30 cents to cover the credit card fee, goes to the nonprofit you choose to support.


http://www.ChangingThePresent.org

on 8/4/2006 Often the family request that you make a donation to a nominated charity rather than send flowers. You may wish however to still make a gesture showing your support and expressing your sympathy particularly when it is a close friend who has lost a loved one.

I have found that in many instances there is something I can make myself that costs nothing, but means a lot to them. It may be a short poem, a painting, a special framed photograph of the deceased, even a specially decorated candle with their name on it. Other ideas are a carving, embroidered pillow, specially painted piece of pottery or a tree for the family to plant in memory of their loved one.

We all have a special skill or talent that can be used to create something special. The thought behind the gift is the most meaningful part, so think about what is most appropriate for those involved.