How to Write a Sympathy Card

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By eHow Contributing Writer

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A sample sympathy card

The best way to write a sympathy card is to be genuine and simply say what you feel -thus, you should send your condolences as soon as you hear the news of the death. The following guidelines are for those who may be at a loss for words during the difficult time following a death.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Blank-inside Greeting Cards
Personalized Stationery

Step 1

Use personal stationery and a pen with blue or black ink.
Step 2

Address the letter to the deceased's closest relative, such as the widow or eldest child, if you knew the deceased well but did not know the family well. If you did not know the deceased, write to the relative with whom you are acquainted and express your wish to give comfort, even if he or she is not the closest relative.
Step 3

Express sympathy for the family and acknowledge their loss: "Please accept my sympathy for the terrible loss of your father."
Step 4

Include a personal memory and/or acknowledge the character and accomplishments of the deceased. If you did not know the deceased, you can simply say, "It must have been wonderful to have him (or her) in your life."
Step 5

Offer support and assistance in any way needed if you know the person to whom you are writing.

Tips & Warnings

Avoid dwelling on the details of the death.
Avoid euphemisms or dramatic conclusions such as "It's all for the best" or "You have lost your wife," which may seem to skirt the issue of the death or the suffering of the bereaved.

Comments

jgf52 said

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on 10/7/2009 suggesting religiousness in this case would seem to be trying to belittle the loss, rather than sympathise with it

RFerriANP said

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on 5/13/2009 All I can add to this article is send the card! I was suddenly widowed at age 49 and I cannot tell you how much those cards meant to me. Although I have God blessed me with a new partner I have kept many of those cards and they still bring me comfort nearly 3 years later.

andrewr said

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on 3/12/2009 I disagree with MrsRags - prayer might be appropriate for some people, but not all. Respect what the bereaved wants, which might be simply to listen to them, be with them, or not be with them. A gentle enquiry will help you establish what they want at that time.