BROWSE HOW TOs

How to Write a Sympathy Card

By eHow Culture & Society Editor

A sample sympathy card

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The best way to write a sympathy card is to be genuine and simply say what you feel -thus, you should send your condolences as soon as you hear the news of the death. The following guidelines are for those who may be at a loss for words during the difficult time following a death.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

Blank-inside Greeting Cards
Personalized Stationery

Step1

Use personal stationery and a pen with blue or black ink.

Step2

Address the letter to the deceased's closest relative, such as the widow or eldest child, if you knew the deceased well but did not know the family well. If you did not know the deceased, write to the relative with whom you are acquainted and express your wish to give comfort, even if he or she is not the closest relative.

Step3

Express sympathy for the family and acknowledge their loss: "Please accept my sympathy for the terrible loss of your father."

Step4

Include a personal memory and/or acknowledge the character and accomplishments of the deceased. If you did not know the deceased, you can simply say, "It must have been wonderful to have him (or her) in your life."

Step5

Offer support and assistance in any way needed if you know the person to whom you are writing.

Tips & Warnings

Avoid dwelling on the details of the death.
Avoid euphemisms or dramatic conclusions such as "It's all for the best" or "You have lost your wife," which may seem to skirt the issue of the death or the suffering of the bereaved.

Comments

MrsRags said

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on 2/20/2008 The best support you can give someone is through prayer. Don't just tell the person you'll pray for them, while you're in the presence or over the phone pray with them right then and there. If you're not comfortable praying publicly you can write your prayer in a card so they can go back and pray that prayer when they need it.

Anonymous said

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on 4/19/2008 Even months after the loss, the bereaved have only just begun their journey to healing. Sometimes the best card is the one sent a month or more after the death.

You could say something like;
"I know that often times there is a huge rush of support right in those days and early weeks. But it's all a blur. I wanted to wait to send you this note to let you know the my thoughts are still with you and they always will be. You're not alone in your memories."

Anonymous said

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on 4/19/2008 As the official flowers and sympathy card sender in our choir, I had the opportunity to learn this. Even if I didn't know the deceased, I usually knew something about the bereaved. I would try to find something positive to say about the deceased, drawing on attributes of the bereaved. For instance, "Your mother must have been an amazing woman because her energy and love for people shine through in you." I tried to keep it positive because I knew how many sad messages the person must be receiving. People have always gratefully acknowledged the things I've said, so I must have been doing something right.

Anonymous said

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on 4/19/2008 There is a poem called "The Rainbow Bridge" that will surely bring comfort to anyone who has lost a pet. It is easily found by searching for it online. You can forward the website to them or print it out and give it to them.