How to Communicate Effectively With a Teen
It sounds contradictory, but to communicate well with a teen you need to - above all - learn to listen.
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Instructions
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Practice the basics of overall good communication: empathy, flexibility and open-mindedness.
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Make yourself available and accessible.
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Remain consistent in your answers and reasoning during decision making and disciplining.
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Count to 10 before you speak, especially if you are agitated.
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Give yourself 10 minutes to make a decision, even if you know what it will be. Your child will come to expect it and not blindside you with changes in plans.
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Practice a controlled demeanor and calm tone, even when it's difficult. Avoid being sarcastic or raising your voice.
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Learn to apologize.
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Have dinner together as a family, every night if possible. Family time generates good feelings among family members, which enhances the likelihood of successfully communicating.
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Live the golden rule.
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Tips & Warnings
If dialogue breaks down, consider writing notes to say what you need to.
Try to make it easy for your teen to come to you with deep emotions and problems. On these occasions, listen to everything your child has to say before jumping in with advice. Avoid being preachy.
A total lack of communication with a teen usually indicates it's time for some family counseling.
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Comments
View all 61 Comments-
datdar
Jul 07, 2009
blah blah -
gustavot
Apr 30, 2009
Someone can explain to me what is the Live the golden rule. Thanks.
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diablox205
Dec 26, 2008
I'm a teenager, and this is bullcrap. If you want to talk to your teen just treat him/her with respect if you expect it back. You may think we owe you for bringing us into this world, but we didn't have a choice in the matter and some of us don't even like it here. Give us your trust and bail us out if you want, but overall let us make our own decisions and receive our own consequences for them.
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diablox205
Dec 26, 2008
I'm a teenager, and this is bullcrap. If you want to talk to your teen just treat him/her with respect if you expect it back. You may think we owe you for bringing us into this world, but we didn't have a choice in the matter and some of us don't even like it here. Give us your trust and bail us out if you want, but overall let us make our own decisions and receive our own consequences for them.
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imtiaz2008
Oct 17, 2008
Absolutely I agree that while dealing with teens, one should never interrupt, because we think the answer from our angle. Let the teen show his own answer because the answer is always lying in the the question and agrument of the teens. Try to justify the argument with the answer given by teen and than pacify the argument with the answer that you want to give to your teen.
