How to Communicate Effectively With a Teen

It sounds contradictory, but to communicate well with a teen you need to - above all - learn to listen.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Practice the basics of overall good communication: empathy, flexibility and open-mindedness.

2. Make yourself available and accessible.

3. Remain consistent in your answers and reasoning during decision making and disciplining.

4. Count to 10 before you speak, especially if you are agitated.

5. Give yourself 10 minutes to make a decision, even if you know what it will be. Your child will come to expect it and not blindside you with changes in plans.

6. Practice a controlled demeanor and calm tone, even when it's difficult. Avoid being sarcastic or raising your voice.

7. Learn to apologize.

8. Have dinner together as a family, every night if possible. Family time generates good feelings among family members, which enhances the likelihood of successfully communicating.

9. Live the golden rule.

Tips & Warnings

• If dialogue breaks down, consider writing notes to say what you need to.
• Try to make it easy for your teen to come to you with deep emotions and problems. On these occasions, listen to everything your child has to say before jumping in with advice. Avoid being preachy.
• A total lack of communication with a teen usually indicates it's time for some family counseling.

[datdar]

on 7/7/2009 blah blah

[gustavot]

on 4/30/2009 Someone can explain to me what is the Live the golden rule. Thanks.

[diablox205]

on 12/26/2008 I'm a teenager, and this is bullcrap. If you want to talk to your teen just treat him/her with respect if you expect it back. You may think we owe you for bringing us into this world, but we didn't have a choice in the matter and some of us don't even like it here. Give us your trust and bail us out if you want, but overall let us make our own decisions and receive our own consequences for them.

[imtiaz2008]

on 10/17/2008 Absolutely I agree that while dealing with teens, one should never interrupt, because we think the answer from our angle. Let the teen show his own answer because the answer is always lying in the the question and agrument of the teens. Try to justify the argument with the answer given by teen and than pacify the argument with the answer that you want to give to your teen.

[daysi]

on 7/22/2008 you are right, I always try to remember dose things that I hate it when my parents did not lisent to me, It really helps to relate to teens. If we want respect we need to respect their fellings. And always say you love them no matter what so they feel free to talk to you about their truobles.