How to Encourage Responsible Teen Dating

This parenting hurdle takes particular patience and understanding. You'll find a sense of humor a valuable asset.

Difficulty:

Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• Cellular Phones
• Telephone Calling Cards

1. Broach the subject of dating early on, perhaps during your child's junior high school years, or even sooner.

2. Set down some basic rules, including what you consider a proper dating age for both your teen and the teen's dates. Also discuss expectations about group or single dating, curfews, and appropriate destinations. For example, you might feel that only group dating is appropriate until age 16 or that teens should not leave your town or city on their dates.

3. Put all of your rules and expectations in an informal written document that you share with your teen. As your teen matures, bring it out and make changes if appropriate.

4. Talk with your teen about issues of sex and morality. In addition to discussing your moral views, talk about AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and emotional issues related to sex - critical issues for teens. If you have trouble communicating about these issues with your teen or if you feel that your child is experiencing problems that are too large for you to handle, get help from a counselor, clergy member or medical professional.

5. Explain that if your teen winds up in a difficult situation, you are willing and available to pick him or her up - whenever or wherever that might be, no questions asked.

6. Tell your teen where in the house to find some extra cash in case he or she is going out and doesn't have money available. Your teen should always carry enough cash to take a cab home in case of emergency.

7. Insist that your teen's date come into the house upon arrival for an introduction. Small talk and friendly questions are fine - this is not the best time for interviews, warnings or giving the third degree.

8. Make yourself available after the date to talk if your child wants to. Show your interest, but avoid prying. If you decide not to wait up that night, be sure to let your child know beforehand that you'll be available to chat in the morning.

9. Keep your ears, eyes and mind as open as possible. A parent's intuition will often spot the first signs of trouble, whether that means alcohol, drugs, an abusive relationship, a significant age difference, or anything else that worries you.

Tips & Warnings

• If your teen doesn't have a cellular phone, give him or her change for a pay phone in case of emergency. Make sure the teen has a phone number for reaching you or a trusted friend.

• Consider counseling if you feel a dating situation has gotten out of hand and you can't effectively communicate with your teen about it.