How to Get on a Professor's Bad Side

If you don't want to be on good terms with your professor, it won't take much effort to reach your goal. UNPOSTED 8/6/99

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Skip the first class of the term. Later, ask for all the materials your professor handed out the first day. Ask, "Did I miss anything important?"
2. Arrive late most days. If you are attending a lecture, walk to the front of the hall, choose a seat in the middle of the front row and ask those around you what you've missed while you unzip your backpack and unload it.
3. Eat breakfast/lunch/dinner during class: choose chips in crinkly plastic bags, soda cans that pop when opened and large tupperware bowls filled with last night's casserole.
4. Talk to your friends while the professor is speaking, read the paper, avoid taking your books to class, keep your baseball cap on or take a nap.
5. Ask for special appointments to see your professor because his or her office hours are too early in the morning.
6. Have your professor "go over" your paper several times before you turn it in. Later tell him/her you should have gotten a higher grade because you worked so hard in coming in for help and he/she is not helping you enough.
7. Email your professor continually asking for "clarifications" on the assignment, or leave long, rambling messages on his or her voicemail asking for a return call even if it's long distance.
8. Dominate class discussion, find a counterpoint to every statement the professor makes, and get yourself noticed in a large lecture by raising your hand at regular intervals to ask a question that you and only you are "concerned" about.

Tips & Warnings

• Always contest your grades.

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