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Step 1
Skip the first class of the term. Later, ask for all the materials your professor handed out the first day. Ask, "Did I miss anything important?"
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Step 2
Arrive late most days. If you are attending a lecture, walk to the front of the hall, choose a seat in the middle of the front row and ask those around you what you've missed while you unzip your backpack and unload it.
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Step 3
Eat breakfast/lunch/dinner during class: choose chips in crinkly plastic bags, soda cans that pop when opened and large tupperware bowls filled with last night's casserole.
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Step 4
Talk to your friends while the professor is speaking, read the paper, avoid taking your books to class, keep your baseball cap on or take a nap.
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Step 5
Ask for special appointments to see your professor because his or her office hours are too early in the morning.
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Step 6
Have your professor "go over" your paper several times before you turn it in. Later tell him/her you should have gotten a higher grade because you worked so hard in coming in for help and he/she is not helping you enough.
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Step 7
Email your professor continually asking for "clarifications" on the assignment, or leave long, rambling messages on his or her voicemail asking for a return call even if it's long distance.
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Step 8
Dominate class discussion, find a counterpoint to every statement the professor makes, and get yourself noticed in a large lecture by raising your hand at regular intervals to ask a question that you and only you are "concerned" about.










Comments
dearlonda said
on 2/25/2009 lol. Love the feel of this article! Check out my "How to NOT Earn Money on eHow. It has a similar humor angle. Thanks for the laugh and info.
KTMg said
on 2/21/2009 LOL - You forgot to mention that you should spill your soda onto your professor, and if at all possible find a cute/sarcastic nickname for their haircut!
Saesult said
on 1/14/2009 Lol, funny tips...like them though.
theperfectfit said
on 1/13/2009 "We are here to educate the masses not the a--es."
marian1936 said
on 1/8/2009 Well said!