How to Date Someone who has a Child From a Previous Relationship
Dating someone who is a parent doesn't always mean that the romantic relationship will come second to that person's children, but it should. How a person relates to their children and to the other parent says a lot about what kind of person they are.
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Instructions
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Accept the fact that your relationship is of secondary importance. You may have to give up being together on some holidays and weekends, and dates will be canceled, often at the last minute, in order to see to the needs of the child.
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Get over being jealous. The person you're dating is going to have frequent contact with the other parent, and that contact may be more friendly than you would like. The parents may even spend a significant amount of time together with the ex for the sake of the child.
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Wait to meet the child. Responsible parents don't introduce their children to every person they start dating. If you are introduced to the child, recognize that this is an important and significant step in your relationship.
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Expect some resentment from an older child, who may dream of his or her parents reuniting. Take care not to try to parent the child and never say bad things about the other parent.
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Try to get along with the other parent. You don't have to be friends, but you should demonstrate to the other parent that it's safe, emotionally and physically, for the child to be around you. Don't give the other parent a reason to force the person you're dating to choose between you and the child.
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Tips & Warnings
Sometimes there's nothing you or the person you're dating can do to please the other parent, who will attempt to use the child as a way to drive a wedge between you. If this happens, keep quiet, stay out of the way as much as you can and trust that your relationship will survive.
While you should be friendly to your significant other's child, take care not to become so involved that they will be traumatized if you end the relationship. Do not try to become close to the child as a way to keep your significant other from leaving you.
