How to Handle a Toddler's Temper Tantrums

Going to the grocery becomes a dreaded task when you're afraid your child will throw a tantrum. Although experts agree that toddler tantrums stem from frustration and the inability to communicate, it doesn't make your job as a parent any easier when your child acts out.

Instructions

1. Tell your child what to expect. When a toddler thinks he will visit the toy aisle and choose an item but you go the other way, a tantrum can erupt. Before any activity, take the time to explain in words he can understand. "We are going to buy milk and that's all today. We will not buy a toy. Do you understand me?"

2. Make routines for daily tasks to provide consistency for your toddler. When your child knows what comes next, he isn't surprised. Gradually, you can begin to introduce spontaneous activities but during a bout of temper tantrums, adhering to strict routines may help.

3. Talk to your child and encourage him to talk to you. As his vocabulary grows, his need to get your attention with a temper tantrum will decrease. Concentrate on the use of emotional terms. Help your child express happiness, sadness, anger or fright. It doesn't matter if he can't speak clearly, as long as you know what he means, he will have a verbal avenue to express himself.

4. Limit your child's choices during a temper tantrum phase. It's often difficult for adults to make decisions; it can be daunting for a toddler. Instead of turning him loose in the breakfast cereal aisle to choose a box, bring two boxes to him and allow him to pick the one he wants.

5. Reinforce positive behavior with praise and love. You toddler wants to do the right thing and when you respond with encouraging words and hugs, he will remember and repeat the act.

6. Ignore tantrums at home if your child isn't in danger of harming himself and ignore them in public unless the tantrum escalates. If a tantrum becomes unbearable in public, remove your toddler from the situation. Drop whatever you're doing and leave the immediate area, whether it is a park or a store.

7. Discuss the inappropriate behavior in the car or at home and explain why it was wrong. Discipline a tantrum with a timeout in a boring place. As your toddler begins to realize that a temper tantrum backfires on him, he will begin to control his frustration and communicate in other ways.

Tips & Warnings

• See your pediatrician if your child's temper tantrums continue when he's four or five years old to rule out a physical or psychological cause.

• Intervene in a toddler's tantrum if there is a risk of injury to himself or others.