How to Leave a Dysfunctional Family
If you're part of a dysfunctional family, then you were probably brought up in a tumultuous environment. Dysfunctional families have family members who may abuse drugs or alcohol. Domestic violence is also common in these families. If you live with a dysfunctional family, you may want to leave the family behind you at some point.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Read a book on leaving a dysfunctional family to make you feel better about your decision. Check out "Healing Your Family History: 5 Steps to Break Free of Destructive Patterns" by Rebecca Hintze.
-
2
Consider your age. If you're under 18, you'll have to go through a legal process to leave your parent's home. Contact a lawyer about setting the legal emancipation process in motion. Those over 18 can leave a dysfunctional family without needing to contact a lawyer.
-
-
3
Make a clean break. If you want to leave a dysfunctional family, you need to move a distance away. Otherwise, if you stay within close proximity, family members will try to draw you back into the fold.
-
4
Be honest. Let your family know why you're leaving. Let them know also that they must not contact you unless they seek professional help to deal with their issues.
-
5
Rely on your friends for support. In the long run, leaving your dysfunctional family will turn out well for you. However, in the beginning, you may have conflicted feelings. During this transitional time, let your friends help you get through things.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
You may need professional help after leaving a dysfunctional family. Consider setting up an appointment with a therapist to resolve any feelings of guilt, sadness and anxiety.
More Like This
Comments
-
Thank you for posting this. It is very helpful and I really appreciate the book reference as I've been searching for one that this one hits head on. Some helpful thoughts to cultivate into reality that I also found : Trust your intuition. Open to your inner wisdom. Rely on your own sense of what's right. Stand your ground. Believe in yourself in the face of criticism. Integrity is doing what you think is best, in each moment. Don't keep score or feel you have to 1-up any of them. You don't have to convince anyone of your right to have your life as you want/need. You are not required to betray yourself for anyone else's sake, so there's no guilt, no shame, no blame. Holding a grudge drains your energy. Meditate on your peace and well-being. Respect your own boundaries. If conflict arises and you feel hopeless, scapegoated, threatened or frantic, retreat may be the only appropriate choice. It's perfectly all right to let 'relationships' fade if they don't suit you any more. I also believe that you should be strong enough first if you feel you need to 'let them know' because they usually find a way to manipulate you back so they can keep you under their clutches to satisfy their destructive behaviors because they need someone like us to abuse.. Wiggle free my precious-spirited ones and find the courage to love yourself enough to first SEE the difference, BE the difference, so that you can stop the vicious cycle with your own offspring.
-
I want to try this soooo bad!
-
geraldong
Feb 03, 2010
I want to leave but can't leave my brother behind who is disabled and dependent upon my care. We're both legal age but I can't take him with me. I need to work for both of us but I can't stand to leave him behind with our dysfunctional family. I'm torn, please anyone help me. I'm tired living a life full of drama, chaos, emotional and mental abuse..... please someone hear my cry for help... -
monicka79
May 29, 2009
it's not easy....i have left but i can't bring myself to telling my family why I left. it's really hard if you are in any or a combination of situations you are mentioning. but for your own mental health, for your own future and that of your kids you need to find a way. I wish I had left when I was 18, I wouldn;t be as hurt and emotionally scarred and confused. Do it for your kids they will adjust to the new environment but living with dysfunction and abuse is not an option.
-
megawencho
Apr 23, 2009
I'm really sick of people over simplifying the leaving part of a person's life. What if you don't have friends, or ones who can't help you or don't understand? What if you have no family,(especially pertinent if you came from one to begin with, i.e.) history of personal child abuse? What if you have kids and leaving with them is not an option; they won't leave the familiar surrondings
