BROWSE HOW TOs

How to Maintain a Harmonious Household

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

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Keeping the peace in your family is a daunting, but not impossible, task - even with multiple children. Here are some helpful hints to get you started on the path to a happy household.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

Bulletin Boards
Calendars

Step1

Set aside family time ' daily or weekly events or activities that the whole family can attend or share together. This can even include TV or dinner time.

Step2

Find time to spend with each child alone, such as taking him or her out to dinner or to watch a movie. This helps show that you recognize each child's individuality.

Step3

Stay neutral in your children's arguments. Try guiding them to a solution instead.

Step4

Schedule a family meeting (either weekly or monthly) to discuss guidelines regarding issues such as bathroom and telephone use, household chores and TV time, as well as talk over any grievances.

Step5

Teach your children to present their problems or requests without hostility and to listen when they are done with their turns.

Step6

Avoid sending conflicting messages to your children. Try to settle parental disagreements in private and present a united front to your kids.

Step7

Be an example for your children - show them that you can be calm and rational, even when in the midst of a problem.

Tips & Warnings

Comparing children can hurt their self-esteem and stir up more squabbling.

Comments

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 A family is a united entity. When there are disagreements, we can choose how we respond; either in a peaceful or hostile way. No one else can make you angry, you have control over how you react. Many times we have past experiences that we draw conclusions from and many times we don't keep our focus on the problem but on our feelings instead. Remember that people who are hurting hurt others. It is best to get to the root cause and try and resolve the problem rather than react to the symptoms.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 When my son was about 16 months old he had his first temper tantrum in a grocery store. He wanted something and screamed and yelled and bit me. I told him we were leaving the store and the buggy and we would just go home. That's exactly what we did. As I was putting him in his car seat he was totally quiet and looking at me like "I can't believe you just left all the groceries." I did this one other time at a birthday party. He is impressive in public now. He is 4 and 1/2 years old and we haven't had a problem since. He knows I will leave and that's that.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 Start every day with something positive. Each day my husband greets me with a kiss and tells me he hopes I have a good day (even if we are at odds with one other). He does this with each of our 6 children, too. Try to find something good to say to each person in your home every day. Some days this is more challenging than others, but over time it makes a difference to the start of your day.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 Give your kids the chance to choose what they want in life. Stop controlling every little thing they do. You may mean well, but sometimes what you want for them is not what will make them happy. What may be interesting to you may not be so to them. Learn to tolerate individual differences. It will also give them a sense of fulfillment to make their own decisions.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 Do not put family members (children, esp. grown children and their spouses!) into "boxes", or forms/judging definitions about who they are/what they are like, though this might be 'comforting' to parents who don't really know their adult children anymore. This is counterproductive and often wrong. If you stop doing so long enough, they might actually feel comfortable around you enough so that you might see who they really are/and or who they would like to be. Let them be, stop judging and labeling.