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How to Tell if Your Online Sweetheart Is Lying

Some online liars will tip their hands quickly, but the clever ones are hard to detect. That's a good reason to take your time before meeting your cybersweetheart.

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    Difficulty:
    Moderately challenging

    Instructions

    Things You'll Need

    • Internet Access
    • E-mail Accounts
    • Paper And Pencils
    • Computers
      • 1

        Communicate with your new flame privately and on message boards and chat rooms.

      • 2

        Allow the cyber-romance to develop slowly.

      • 3

        Avoid exchanging addresses or phone numbers for the first couple of weeks.

      • 4

        Watch for exaggeration or undue evasiveness in your cybersweetheart.

      • 5

        Question your friend about his or her job, education, hobbies and family.

      • 6

        Determine whether his or her expertise matches his or her supposed background.

      • 7

        Ask more probing questions about his or her location, family, past and job after a month.

      • 8

        Exchange pictures, but send them as files attached to e-mail or use a post office box. Decide whether his or her appearance matches the self-description he or she offered you.

      • 9

        Try phone calls only after the friendship has endured a few months.

      • 10

        Verify some of his or her story by using work phone numbers if possible.

      • 11

        Call his or her workplace when he or she is not there for further verification.

      • 12

        Arrange to meet in a public place if everything checks out. If not, say, "Good bye."

    Tips & Warnings

    • Do not check your intuition at the door as you enter cyberspace.

    • Take notes on the comments your partner makes during chat sessions and save his or her e-mail. Check for contradictions as the relationship proceeds.

    • Never ignore your intuition about a cybersweetheart.

    • People who stubbornly refuse to reveal much about themselves should not be trusted.

    • Don't forget that you are dealing with a stranger in a medium where it is easy to lie.

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    Comments

    • pendingattack Jul 18, 2009
      they could pay someone to be somebody they aren't. It happened to a girl of the blogging community I'm at. A 37 year-old man pretended to be a 19 or so year old girl. After endless phone and video chats, eight months later, the man said he paid a girl to be "him". It took a toll on that girl. You can't tell. You never really can, unless you meet face to face, and that person isn't a total perv.
    • Haoie Jul 18, 2008
      You can't really tell if someone's lying online, the way you can in a face-face meeting, unfortunately.
    • Haoie Jul 18, 2008
      You can't really tell if someone's lying online, the way you can in a face-face meeting, unfortunately.
    • Aug 08, 2006
      Never believe an age someone tells you. You may think that you are chatting to a 16-year-old but they are really 40-something or older.
    • Apr 03, 2006
      *He's planned a date with you and he cancels saying he has heart problems. *You go over for dinner and he says an hour later that a satellite dish guy is coming over to set him up with new channels. *He doesn't return your call after you've left 3 messages, and when he does call he says he was busy. Any of these three, or a combination, means cut him loose!

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