How to Avoid Instant Intimacy Online

By eHow Internet Editor

Rate: (6 Ratings)

Instant intimacy can lead strangers to say they love each other after spending a few hours together online. Avoiding that syndrome takes vigilance and lots of willpower.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Things You’ll Need:

Step1
Keep the chat sessions and e-mail playful for the first month or so.
Step2
Do some chatting in large groups to ease the romantic pressure on you and your love interest.
Step3
Be on guard the moment you have romantic feelings about an online friend.
Step4
Be sensible. Maintain a slow pace as the relationship develops.
Step5
Wait at least a month before exchanging highly personal information.
Step6
Make light of the "L" word until you're absolutely sure you want to use it with your new cyber friend.
Step7
Remind your partner (and yourself) periodically of the power of unjustified intimacy, and that you cannot really know each other until you meet.
Step8
Take a break from the relationship whenever it begins to feel like an addiction.
Step9
Discuss the budding romance with friends and family.
Step10
Mention your problems and struggles to your cyber friend when chatting or exchanging e-mail. In other words, show him or her the complete picture of your life.
Step11
Set up a meeting in a public place to see if the two of you can pass the "chemistry test."

Tips & Warnings

  • If you're about to type something to your online friend that you would be too embarrassed to say in person, don't do it.
  • Use humor to lighten up the "heavy petting" that happens so often online.
  • Remember that men, in particular, open up more in cyber space than they do during face-to-face encounters. They probably cannot duplicate their online behavior during subsequent meetings in the 3-D world.
  • More than any other online phenomenon, instant intimacy causes people to do silly, unwise and sometimes dangerous things. They may fly thousands of miles to spend a week sharing a bed with a complete stranger or even break up a marriage to consummate their online relationship. Never underestimate the power of this cyber force.

Comments

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snehami said

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on 7/31/2008 internet is a place for crooks. Never trust anybody on the internet.

Haoie said

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on 7/18/2008 This is surprisingly good info. Cheers.

angelina said

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on 5/14/2007 Really be careful about what you reveal about yourself because if you ever break up, your ex lover, even online, may use that against you.

omz69 said

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on 3/19/2007 Remember pics arent very reliable, webcams help. You should also talk to 1 another on the phone before meeting up so you can get to know 1 another more realistically. Make sure they are local or otherwise it could be too difficult if it all works out.

Anonymous

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 This is for if you're looking to eventually meet someone offline. If the photo exchange goes well (within a few days of the initial e-mail), go ahead and schedule a short coffee date. That way, if you two don't click offline, there won't be broken hearts, since you have not become too attached.

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eHow Article:  How to Avoid Instant Intimacy Online

eHow Internet Editor

eHow Internet Editor

Category: Internet

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