How to Deal With Your Teen Getting Arrested

When children enter the teenage years they will naturally begin to rebel. Some teens choose to change their hair color or get a tattoo but other become more rebellious. This struggle for independence can lead to trouble for the teen. This trouble can then lead to an arrest. If this happens with your child, follow these steps to learn to deal with the teen getting arrested.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Realize that this is not about you. Too many times parents ignore the cry for help from the teen and make the arrest about themselves. This creates a feeling of neglect in the teen. They will feel that the parents care more about their reputation than what is going on with their child. This increases the chances the teen will act out again.
2. Try to understand the root cause of the arrest. The root cause is not the criminal offense that resulted in the arrest. It is the underlying emotion the teen felt that made her commit the offense. For instance, many teens will shoplift in order to fill their emotional needs through the danger and material satisfaction of the crime. Parents often focus on the surface of the crime, totally missing the underlying cause.
3. Stay away from blaming any other teens involved in the arrest. Too many times parents will search for others to blame for their children's behavior. It is a major mistake to shift the blame to another child and not focus on why your child chose to do this. The teen will also try to blame others for the arrest and you need to make sure he and you take responsibility for the arrest.
4. Listen intently to the teen when she tries to explain the arrest. Parents have a tendency in times of crisis to turn off their listening skills. This is a mistake and you will miss an opportunity to really listen to your child. The parent should make note of the body language of the teen. If the teen is truly remorseful, her body language will be withdrawn and sullen. If the body language is relaxed and nonchalant it may signal that the teen is still having issues realizing that she has a problem.
5. Show the teen that you still love and accept him but that there will be consequences for his actions. This will obviously depend on the severity of the crime but responsibility and love should be your focus after the arrest.