How to Deal With a Boyfriend Who Wants a Sex Change

Relationships and sexuality can both be complicated and confusing. It can be difficult to know how to talk to a significant other if he or she is struggling with their sexual identity. Use communication, patience and understanding to deal with a boyfriend who wants a sex change.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Know that it's not personal. It's easy to blame yourself and feel like the reason your boyfriend wants a sex change is because he wasn't fulfilled in your relationship; it's only natural to wonder if you weren't enough for him and that's why he's unhappy. Understand that his reasons for wanting a sex change probably existed long before the two of you got together. Don't waste time blaming yourself because it's simply not your fault.

2. Keep the lines of communication open between you and your boyfriend and let him explain everything to you. Be honest about your feelings and let him express his needs as openly as he's comfortable. You can deal with the situation more easily if you're both upfront and honest about how you're feeling.

3. Stay calm. You might feel hurt, betrayed, shocked or angry when your boyfriend tells you he wants a sex change. Yelling and getting defensive or accusing won't help you understand. Remember it's not personal, take a deep breath and talk about the issue seriously and respectfully.

4. Write down how you're feeling and the questions you have or things you don't understand. If you want to know how long he's felt this way, if anyone else knows or if he's still attracted to you, write it all down. This will make it easier for you to have a rational, organized discussion.

5. Make an appointment with a sex therapist or relationship counselor for you and your boyfriend. Dealing with a boyfriend that wants a sex change might be more than you can handle on your own, and that's OK. A professional can help you get a better understanding of where your boyfriend is coming from, deal with the challenges ahead and learn to handle your feelings about the situation.

Resources

• Get your questions about sex change surgery answered here.
• Read about some of the legal ramifications of a sex change.

[trueself]

on 2/14/2009 Before you even think about getting a sex change make sure it is really you talking and not your hormones.You need to know for sure if this truly you or your hormones.Did you knowIf you are male with high levels of estrogen you will want to become a womanIf you are a female with high levels of testerone you will want to become maleIf your hormones are in balance then your answer is clearGo on be your self will I you support all they way.After all only you can be you.Anyone trying to be you would get something wrong so don't chance it.I wouldn't have thought something you come in contact with could modify your behavior so much you would want to become someone else.The real bad part about hormone imbalance would make any person would really believe this what they wanted.Not knowing all along they are being lied to by their own hormones.I looked in to counseling that is given to gay and les