How to Get Rid of a Manipulative Boyfriend

Having a boyfriend can be a wonderful and exciting experience. The feeling of companionship and closeness you can develop with your boyfriend can be matched by few other experiences. However, some boyfriends just don't quite make the grade. Manipulative people can be extremely difficult to deal with, and manipulative boyfriends can be even worse. Follow these steps to rid yourself of your manipulative boyfriend and start with a clean slate.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Make a time to discuss your issues with your boyfriend. Pick a time that is not in the midst of an argument or disagreement so that emotions don't run too high during your talk. These feelings could cause you to feel guilty and second-guess yourself.

2. Start a private list of the reasons why your boyfriend is manipulative. Write down all of the ways in which he leaves you feeling manipulated, angry, upset or guilty. Correspond his behaviors with how you end up feeling to see the correlation on paper.

3. Talk to a friend or counselor if necessary before talking to your boyfriend. This step is especially helpful if you are especially sensitive to manipulation and worry about being assertive enough during your breakup conversation. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend so that you will not give in to the possible manipulation.

4. Jot down various excuses your boyfriend is likely to come up with to counteract your feelings of manipulation. Remember that any excuses that he comes up with will most likely be an attempt to manipulate you into doing what he wants you to do.

5. Be strong when having the discussion with your boyfriend. Be respectful; saying something like "I hate you because you manipulate me" will not be as affective as saying "this relationship isn't working for me because I feel manipulated much of the time and am tired of feeling jerked around". Say what you mean, be firm and have the confidence to know that you deserve better in a relationship (see Resources below).

Tips & Warnings

• If you are very bad at verbal breakups, then you can write a letter. However, it's best to give the person the letter in person and at least say something briefly to communicate your feelings.
• Consider counseling with your boyfriend, especially if you are in a serious relationship. Suggest that he get counseling for his manipulative personality style.

Resources

• Visit this site for further help on breakup techniques.
• Here's some information on emotional manipulation.

[ummmwhatusay]

on 10/20/2009 No you aren't wrong...you just lost your head in what you wanted to believe was love. I am in the same predicament and lately my relationship is wearing me down. It was fun at first because he was my very 1st long term boyfriend.....but 2 years later there are times when I don't feel right and I know something is very very wrong with our relationship. I want so much more for myself but I am scared of confrontation’s have thought about just running away and I just might! I mean I have already lost sooooo much because he takes up all my time, money, and motivation. We need to fix ourselves and not put up with CRAP. At this stage in my life I'll stick to my cats!
Good luck....

[rinjackson]

on 3/20/2009 my boyfriend is pretty manipulative, i mean i pay for everything and he does nothing except hog all of my internet, tv, and manipulate me into buying everything he wants me to, by denying me any sort of physical connection, kissing, sex, all of it and then gets me to do whatever he wants by kissing me and then shows it off to his friends laughing, but everytime we fight and i try to break up with him he brings up how i cheated on him, and yes it was horrible that i let it happen twice, but what he doesnt get is that having no physical attraction for so long was eating away at me. am i wrong?