How to Reconcile a Friendship
Losing a friendship can be extremely difficult. Depending on the length of the friendship and the nature of what happened between the two of you, it can be a long time before you finally reconcile your disagreement. However, you both can move on past negativity and resentment. Follow these steps to speed up the reconciliation process and begin to heal the wounds caused by your disagreement.
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Instructions
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Take some time to replay the events of your recent disagreement. Write down your side of the story and then write down your friend's side of the story without being biased. It will help you to gain perspective on where your friend might be coming from and give you a bigger sense of compassion.
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Accept the possibility that your friend may not want to reconcile with you. Decide whether or not this move is one that you want to make. Realize that you could be disappointed or feel hurt should your friend decide not to mend the relationship.
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Write a letter of apology to your friend outlining how you feel about the situation and read it to her in person or over the telephone. Admit your responsibility in the disagreement without placing blame on the other person. This can be difficult for many people, because it's human nature to want to forgo responsibility for negative outcomes.
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Speak to your friend honestly and sincerely when you talk to him during your reconciliation meeting. Relive the good times you had as friends, but give adequate attention to the negative aspects of your friendship. Your job should be to communicate your honesty and authenticity about yourself and your feelings about your relationship.
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Give your friend some time to think over the decision to reconcile the friendship. Be careful not to rush them into the decision, since you want it to be a mutual reconciliation. Make a pact with your friend to start over with a completely clean slate that is free from past indiscretions, arguments or disagreements.
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Tips & Warnings
Make your friend a scrapbook or some other token of remembrance that shows how dearly you hold your relationship.
Remember that it could take some time to rebuild trust and security in the relationship and that patience is key in restructuring a friendship.
If you need to talk through a sensitive subject, try and utilize methods of clear and respectful communication. Keep the argument centered upon the core issues at hand and leave petty disagreements out of the equation.
Do not attempt to make the other person admit their wrongdoings. It will most likely put the other person on the defense and sully your chances at reconciliation.
