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Step 1
Realize that narcissistic personality disorder is a real disorder that makes the one suffering from it behave in ways that aren't typical of an average person. At the same time, a narcissist attempts to make you feel like you're the one with a problem, if not a full-blown mental illness.
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Step 2
Understand that the nature of the disorder makes it nearly impossible for a person suffering from it to seek treatment. If she does seek treatment, it's highly unlikely that she'll change her ways. Instead, she'll often attempt to use what her therapist says to discredit and devalue other people in her life.
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Step 3
Decide to have no contact with the narcissist, if possible. Because you can't change the narcissist, you should stay away from him to keep your own mental health and stability. Ignore him in social settings, don't answer the door if he shows up at your house, don't answer the phone when he calls and don't return emails. If you live with him and it's possible, either move out or demand that he does.
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Step 4
Avoid discussions with the narcissist unless you have a witness and the discussion is absolutely required, such as for legal reasons. People with narcissistic personality disorder are masters of manipulation whether it's actively manipulating you or twisting your words so they mean something other than what you actually intend.
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Step 5
Join a support group to help you realize you're not alone. While those around you who know the person with narcissistic personality disorder may be taken in by his charm and think you're the one with a problem, other people who've had close relationships with narcissists share your experience and can help you feel stronger.
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Step 6
Attend therapy to heal from the abuse you suffered at the hands of the narcissist. Most narcissists are also abusers, generally abusing you emotionally until you feel like a deeply flawed person. They may also be physical abusers. A skilled therapist can help you recover from the abuse and return to feeling like yourself again.
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Step 7
Figure out why you were so drawn to the person with narcissistic personality disorder so you can avoid it in the future. Narcissists are generally charming people who seem to be larger-than-life, who exude excitement and who may offer excessive compliments. At the same time, though, you can often perceive that they lack genuine emotion and engagement even when you first meet them.
Comments
hurtgrandma said
on 12/7/2009 I believe my daughter-in-law is a narcissist. She is having her fourth child and I haven't seen my other grandchildren in four years. I send Christmas and birthdays but don't know if she lets them play with the toys. Then she has my son (who is changed into a a person I don't know anymore) call me and tell me my gifts are not "good enough". My son is pulling away from me and I am scared for him and my grandchildren. I live 900 miles away and have no control over anything. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? Thank you. Heartbroken grandmother
hurtgrandma said
on 12/7/2009 I believe my daughter-in-law is a narcissist. She is having her fourth child and I haven't seen my other grandchildren in four years. I send Christmas and birthdays but don't know if she lets them play with the toys. Then she has my son (who is changed into a a person I don't know anymore) call me and tell me my gifts are not "good enough". My son is pulling away from me and I am scared for him and my grandchildren. I live 900 miles away and have no control over anything. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? Thank you. Heartbroken grandmother
bradsmithsite said
on 11/24/2009 --- START FROM MY LOWEST COMMENT AND WORK YOUR WAY UP ---
I have NPD.
bradsmithsite said
on 11/24/2009 If he agrees to go, warn the psychologist as your husband will emotionally abuse ANYONE, including the psychologist, to get his way. Once your back, he'll focus on loosing the psychologist he agreed to see.
I find many aspects of this article to be flawed. NPD can benefit if controlled and used correctly. It can be a gift.
NPD makes a great sales person. Many NPDs are very smart and if the NPD is a "good guy", he's NPD will protect everyone he cares for because NPDs are masters and finding weaknesses and will use it to remove people who can hurt the person/people and NPD cares about. Think a NPD father who has high moral standards will let a garbage boyfriend go out with his daughter?
bradsmithsite said
on 11/24/2009 Leaving your husband will be worse than dieting. You'll have the urge to break your diet, going back to your husband, all the time. All day long, every day you will have to fight the urge to listen as he guilt trips you into going back. You WON'T BE CONSTANT. He's constant by default, as he's own interests drive him all the time, and if you try leave, he's focus will be to get you back.
He has got to know you mean business or he'll keep abusing you. Only time NPD will seek help is when they've hit rock bottom. If he wants you back, tell him he HAS GOT TO see a PSYCHOLOGIST to start making changes. If he DOESN'T want to go, break contact until he does. If your important to him, he'll eventually agree - as you being gone will be worth it for him to go to the PSYCHOLOGIST to get you back.