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Step 1
Realize that narcissistic personality disorder is a real disorder that makes the one suffering from it behave in ways that aren't typical of an average person. At the same time, a narcissist attempts to make you feel like you're the one with a problem, if not a full-blown mental illness.
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Step 2
Understand that the nature of the disorder makes it nearly impossible for a person suffering from it to seek treatment. If she does seek treatment, it's highly unlikely that she'll change her ways. Instead, she'll often attempt to use what her therapist says to discredit and devalue other people in her life.
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Step 3
Decide to have no contact with the narcissist, if possible. Because you can't change the narcissist, you should stay away from him to keep your own mental health and stability. Ignore him in social settings, don't answer the door if he shows up at your house, don't answer the phone when he calls and don't return emails. If you live with him and it's possible, either move out or demand that he does.
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Step 4
Avoid discussions with the narcissist unless you have a witness and the discussion is absolutely required, such as for legal reasons. People with narcissistic personality disorder are masters of manipulation whether it's actively manipulating you or twisting your words so they mean something other than what you actually intend.
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Step 5
Join a support group to help you realize you're not alone. While those around you who know the person with narcissistic personality disorder may be taken in by his charm and think you're the one with a problem, other people who've had close relationships with narcissists share your experience and can help you feel stronger.
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Step 6
Attend therapy to heal from the abuse you suffered at the hands of the narcissist. Most narcissists are also abusers, generally abusing you emotionally until you feel like a deeply flawed person. They may also be physical abusers. A skilled therapist can help you recover from the abuse and return to feeling like yourself again.
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Step 7
Figure out why you were so drawn to the person with narcissistic personality disorder so you can avoid it in the future. Narcissists are generally charming people who seem to be larger-than-life, who exude excitement and who may offer excessive compliments. At the same time, though, you can often perceive that they lack genuine emotion and engagement even when you first meet them.
Comments
alwyshurt said
on 9/30/2009 Could my husband have this disorder. When I say i am sick, he is sicker, when I have a problem with his behaviour, if he hurts my feelings, it is just my immagination and I am the one who caused it. He has no sympathy for anyone except hisself. We cannot talk about anything without him putting me down. I like scary movies, he tells me I shouldnt watch them and they are evil but he will watch porn. He is righteous and I am bad. He wants to be a christian but I discouraged him and kept him from being one. That is why he smokes, and drinks and does not go to church. Everything is my fault. He owns the house and the bank account. Even my sons football is his, he put his own name on it and told my son it was his, and when he wants to play with it he has to ask.The marriage is not 50/50. It is all about him. I have to fit into his mold and be just like him or just the way he likes me to be...
ashantirose said
on 3/1/2009 http://narcissisticabuserecovery.yuku.com/
ashantirose said
on 3/1/2009 Hi Mslillee,My son has NPD so I completely understand where you are coming from.I know it is hard,but I think for your own sanity,you must walk away,if you can find the strength to do so..if it were not for my son's age{16} I would be RUNNING away,not walking.You're blessed to be in a position to have no contact.Having been involved for many years with people who have this disorder,I can promise you that they DON'T CHANGE.I believe your daughter will also use the birth of your grandchild to emotionally blackmail you..again these are some really tough choices you are facing,but if you allow your grandchild into your life,she will use this child as a pawn to manipulate and control you..I would think very carefully if this is what you want,because although I understand your longing to have this baby in your life..he or she is NOT your responsibility,The responsibility is all your daughters.
dsbaker said
on 2/21/2009 I was married to a very evil man with NPD for 17 years. After 7yrs of being divorced and on anti-depressants can finally see some of my personality and ambition coming back. Now I get to help my 19 year old son deal with having the illness because of the abuse from his father all those years. They are very bad people. The rest of the world needs to be warned about them.
leecb said
on 2/2/2009 How to get out of a relationship with a NPD husband? I have been through hell, after his abusive langauage he would act nothing happen call to say: I love you. Every one told me to leave, and I used to think with my deep loving heart I can wake him up a little to think about just a little how other people feel. It is impossible, only invited more insult. I know I still have feeling about him. That's why I seems got pulled back by his words. What do I do??