How to Know When to Break Up
While in a relationship, sometimes your perspective gets skewed, so it can be challenging to know when you're better off ending it instead of waiting or trying to change. By using these steps as a guide, you can better determine when things aren't working and it's time to move on. Since the issue is highly subjective, it's imperative to use your best judgment.
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Instructions
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Leave at the first sign of physical, sexual or emotional abuse. There is no excuse for someone abusing you. If you stay in the relationship to see if it happens again, justifying it was "just this one time," you're already stuck in an abusive mindset. Require more for yourself and end it right away.
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Determine if the problems and questions you're having now were present in previous relationships. If they were, it's likely that something needs to change within you, not the other person. Discover what you need to change and decide whether you need to be alone to reset your relational patterns.
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Think about whether the other person is an asset to your life or puts you in deficit from where you would be if you were single. This is an all-encompassing concept, and you should examine many areas before making the decision about where he stands. If he isn't adding to your life, you should break up with him.
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Break up when you discover that the other person doesn't have the same life goals as you. Things like whether she wants to have children are non-negotiable, and you shouldn't wait around for her to change her mind. There is someone out there you won't have to convince to see things your way or who wants the same things in life that you do. Leave if you feel like you're settling for less.
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Comments
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Teachforever
Aug 01, 2009
ok! -
oimdiane
Jul 27, 2009
Excellent and exactly what I needed to read today, thank you! 20+ years (more but I'm not giving it all away LOL!) and have taken the good with the bad. It's just the bad never tends to even consider "change." I believe we're put here to learn and grow. When the person you're without is just fine about where (who) he (in this case) is, sees no reason to change, and thinks it's everyone else at fault or to blame - well then it's been years in the coming and just time to act. (Again, can you tell I needed this advice today?) 5 big *'s
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Jason Ward
Jul 27, 2009
Thanks for the article, helps me a lot.
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msnicole
Jul 26, 2009
Nice article with useful advice. I agree with frugal1 in that relationships come with good and bad aspects so some adults may need to figure out how to roll with the punches and be grateful for the good times. It's also not easy for people to breakup when they have been together for many years. Settling is not a great thing but some men and women can be comfortable in a relationship that they are used to, making it harder to breakup. This article is helpful.
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oquichtli
Jul 24, 2009
Breaking up is not fun, especially if your love is blind. I guess it's an evolutionary thing. I like the way you tell it like it has to be told.
