How to Pour Your Heart Out

Photo by M@rg: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gebala/

You're in love. You're angry. You're sad. You're confused. You're worried. You're stuck. You're excited. You're ready. Whatever it is, it's time to stop hiding what's on your heart. Putting your emotions into words and sharing them with the world (or for that matter, even one close friend) is no easy feat, but the result is often an enlivening, bonding and cathartic experience. If you have something weighing on your heart, I hope these tips help you find just the right way to pour it out.

Instructions

1. End the mind games. While the heart is about feeling and experiencing, the mind is about analyzing and strategizing. Your heart longs to gush, your mind pulls you back. Keeping feelings secret is exhausting, while sharing frees up your mental and emotional energy for more important endeavors. Ask your mind to take a break from brooding and allow your heart to take center stage.

2. Act on your impulse. When you get the urge to spill your secret emotions, do it immediately. If you procrastinate by waiting for the right time, your opportunity will pass. The only "right" moment to share your feelings is the moment that little voice inside you shouts, "Now!"

3. Forget your script. When preparing to pour our hearts out, we often create perfect monologues in hopes of making the process easier. The problem with this is that a monologue doesn't account for another person's reactions and perspectives, nor does it allow for the changes of heart that may occur within the moment. While it's fine to prepare what you are going to say, be prepared to ditch the speech if the words no longer sound right when they reach your lips.

4. Say, "I feel inspired to tell you..." and then let it out.

5. Stutter. Stammer. Cry. Fidget. You won't be perfect. You won't be smooth. It's OK. Life does not happen in a controlled, cool way.

6. Let go of expectations. You cannot expect that the person you are pouring your heart out to will share your feelings. While a person may be touched or even thrilled by your expression, ultimately opening your heart is a gift you give yourself; it is not a gift for another person. Do not demand that he or she responds in a particular way.

7. Be patient. Once you've poured your heart out, it may take the person on the other end a few days, weeks or months to fully absorb the meaning behind your words. Allow him or her ample time and space to process.

8. Replenish your spirit. Pouring your heart out is a difficult feat. After you're done, do something to care for yourself. Get a massage or a facial. Go out for a delicious dinner. Meet your friends for a game of basketball. Listen to music. Do whatever makes you feel comforted and enlivened. Most importantly, make a conscious acknowledgment of your bravery and openness of spirit.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not pour your heart out after you've been drinking.

• Do not pour your heart out when you are exhausted or stressed.

• Do not pour your heart out via text message, email or smoke signals.