How to Communicate with Your Dishonest Spouse

Has dishonesty and lying negatively affected your marriage relationship?

Are you angry and hurt because there is no honest, open communication with your soul mate?

Searching and searching online for something that will help you forgive your spouse for lying?

If you reading this article, then you want to improve communication with your spouse. This eHow article will teach you how to draw out the truth from your husband or wife.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. **Get rid of the distractions**
   
   Turn off the television. Turn on some relaxing music instead. Open a bottle of wine (or sparkling cider if you don't drink.) Kiss the kids goodnight and put the children to bed. Write down your top three questions to ask your dishonest spouse.

2. **Actually explain how you feel**
   
   Initiate a friendly conversation. Express your desire to share a honest dialogue and learn to listen to your spouse. Bring up some of the lies that you have been told and try to understand what is motivating that type of undesirable behavior. Does your spouse feel free talking to you about anything? Why not?

3. **Improve listening skills**
   
   Relax your angry emotions and actually try to hear what your spouse is saying. Lower your expectations for a period of time to see through their imperfections. Remind your spouse that you were married for better and for worse. Draw out the truth with simple questions, a patient tone and a forgiving heart. Does your spouse know that you love him? Does your wife know that you love her.

4. **Seek out another couple**
   
   Explore the idea of having dinner with another couple. Make a short list of married couples that you and your spouse feel comfortable being around. Invite that couple over for dinner. Advise them in advance that you are having trouble in your marriage. Ask your spouse if this is a good idea. If all systems are a go, use this as opportunity to clear the air. Remind your spouse that you are there to encourage, love and listen.

Tips & Warnings

• Seek professional counseling if the dishonesty persists.
• Admit that you have faults also and no one is perfect.
• Always challenge questionable statements from your spouse. Honesty is still the best policy, even in marriage.
• Never, ever try to force your spouse to seek counseling.
• Avoid the blame game --- you make mistakes too!
• Be aware of other problems that may precede lying (drinking, drugs, adultery, etc.)