How to Fight a Dracula

Planning a trip to Transylvania? Go prepared!

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Wooden Stake, Silver Cross, The Sun

1. 
    

   First and foremost, if your last name is Van Helsing, Belmont or Sommers, cease reading immediately as you are quite vigilant in the ways of slaying as it is, unless you are here strictly for the entertainment value, in which case, proceed.

2. 
    

   Before boarding that flight to your nearest Transylvanian castle, drop by a local church and pick up a cross. Be sure it is silver as it can serve another purpose which I will explain later on. Of course, your cross may be confiscated as a weapon at the metal detector, so maybe hit up a chapel on they way out of the Transylvania airport.

3. 
    

   Upon arriving at the castle, via horse and buggy, be sure to check the location of your nearest sun (that would be the one in the sky). Grab your cross in hand and walk through the creepy oversized doors (try to avoid the spider and cobwebs...you don't want to look like a sloppy slayer on your big day).

4. 
    

   Search the castle for a basement. Avoid any rooms along the way, there will most likely be vampire slavegirls or werewolves inside that would only get in your way...or kill you.

5. 
    

   Once the basement has been located, look around for a casket. Chances are, there won't be more than one, but if there are, look for the one that is closed.

6. 
    

   Before opening the casket, search the surrounding area for anything made of wood and break a piece off (no reason to carry a stake with you on your trip and risk the splinters). Grab the pointest piece of wood you can find and proceed with the removal of the casket lid.

7. 
    

   If you're lucky, the Dracula will be resting heavily inside. Raise your wooden stake high, point down and, if you must, proclaim loudly your well-rehearsed speech about how you will put an end to this foul beast's reign of terror.

8. 
    

   Slam stake down into the Dracula's chest, attempt to puncture heart. Upon doing this, go home as you are done. However...

9. 
    

   If your Dracula happens to be the showman he is known for, he will not be in the casket, but rather right behind you! Turn quickly and hold your cross in his face. This will hopefully hold him off.

10. 
     

    But, if your Dracula is new aged and believes in no God other than himself, he will laugh off this attempt at a religious attack and with sheer cockiness, wrap his lengthy fingers around your cross. This is where the silver comes in: upon grabbing the cross, the Dracula should be burned, leaving him in an immense amount of pain, giving you...

11. 
     

    The opportunity to plunge your stake into his chest, destroying him for good.

Tips & Warnings

• If said Dracula is heard reciting the alphabet or repeatedly counting from one to ten in an educational manner, leave him be as this Count poses no threat to anyone.
• If your Dracula is having his buddies over for the big game, maybe come back later.

[EliseM]

on 9/14/2008 :o

Hope it works :)
Or else I will die.. or somthing.. .. ..
:P tnx ^^,

[EliseM]

on 9/14/2008 :o

Hope it works :)
Or else I will die.. or somthing.. .. ..
:P tnx ^^,