How to Keep the Spark in Marriage

When you first got married everything was new and exciting from cooking dinner to curling up with the newspaper on a Sunday morning. It seemed like things would be that new and exciting forever. Then a few years go by and you realize that you've lost that spark that you had in the beginning. You look for ways to bring it back and to make your marriage feel alive again. If you want to know how to keep the spark in your marriage start by taking time for each other.

Instructions

1. Have a date night at least once a week, but vary the time and place. Remember how exciting date night was when you first met? You can recapture that feeling by spending one night or day together every week. Try spending a Saturday afternoon in the park and then attending an art gallery in the middle of the next week.

2. Leave love notes for each other in unexpected and random places. A note on the bathroom mirror in shaving cream is sweet and romantic as is a small note slipped into his briefcase or his wallet. When your spouse finds the note, they’ll be thinking about you for the rest of the day.

3. Make sex an impromptu and exciting adventure, not a monotonous chore. Far too many married people tend to think of sex as something they have to do, not something they want to like to do. They may even have a set day and time when they sleep together. Instead try surprising your partner in the shower one morning or after you put the kids to bed at night.

4. Buy your partner a surprise gift for no good reason except to say “I love you.” It doesn’t have to be something big or expensive, but it should be something they like. You can bring home flowers one night or grab your husband that new basketball DVD he’s been eyeing at the store.

5. Take a trip together and plan it together. If you’ve ever dreamed of vacationing at an exotic resort, start planning it months in advance. You’ll both be excited about the trip and that excitement will rub onto other parts of your life as well. If you can’t afford an elaborate trip, spend a day at home just the two of you, but make it as memorable as possible.

Tips & Warnings

• Don’t be afraid to spend some time with a marriage counselor. Even if you only attend a few sessions, it can help you regain your spark. It doesn’t mean you have a problem, but it does mean you realize you could have a problem.

• Surprise gifts can sometimes make your partner suspicious that you might be having an affair. A large and unexpected present can sometimes be a sign of an affair. Explain to your partner that you just wanted to do something surprising.