How to Tell your Spouse you Got Herpes

Herpes is a very common STD (sexually transmitted disease) and it affects people of all ages. This virus is spread through sexual intercourse (anal, vaginal and oral) and also through skin-to-skin contact with the infected area. Some find it difficult telling others about their herpes status. If you are married, and you discover that you have herpes, you definitely need to inform your spouse of your status. It may be difficult sharing this information with your husband or wife, but there are a few things that you can do to make it easier to tell your spouse you have herpes.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Materials about the herpes virus (hand-outs, brochures, pamphlets)

1. Decide when you are ready to tell your spouse about your herpes status. Make sure that you feel comfortable discussing this information with your spouse and determine if you’re emotionally ready for the discussion. However, do not wait too long because you do not want to put your spouse at risk of getting infected with herpes. Also, avoid engaging in any type of sexual activities with your spouse until you have told him of your herpes status.

2. Choose a quiet place to tell your spouse about your medical condition. You may choose to talk to your spouse at home or perhaps you may feel more comfortable talking to her at a public location (such as a local park). Be sure to select a place where there is some privacy and not a lot of distractions or interruptions.

3. Inform your spouse of your herpes status. Explain to your spouse how you recently discovered that you have herpes. Try to remain calm as you talk to your spouse about your medical condition and be sure to answer all of his questions.

4. Verify your spouse’s herpes status. Simply ask your spouse if she’s ever been tested for herpes and whether or not the test was positive. Let her know that many people who are infected with herpes do not have any symptoms at all. Therefore, someone can actually have the virus and not know it.

5. Provide your spouse with information about this STD. Talk to your spouse about your symptoms, treatment options, risk factors and other relevant details about herpes. If possible, give your spouse materials (such as hand-outs, brochures and pamphlets) about the herpes virus.

6. Give your spouse time to adjust to the news. It may take some time for your spouse to accept your medical condition, so give him a little time to come around. Do not rush him to accept your herpes status.

7. Encourage your spouse to get tested for herpes. Since you tested positive for herpes, it is a good chance that your spouse has this virus, too. Also, it is possible that you got the virus from your spouse, so she definitely needs to get tested in order to know her status. Be sure to go with your spouse when she gets tested for herpes.

Tips & Warnings

• There is no cure for herpes, but there are treatment options available for this STD.
• You can still spread herpes to another person, even if you do not have any of the common symptoms (such as painful blisters or sores).

Resources

• Herpes-Coldsores.com
• Herpes.org
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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[heatherinks]

on 4/27/2009 A spouse or potential partner should be told about herpes upfront before dating, marriage, kissing, or sex because herpes is a life changing thing - affecting sex life and having children.

[heatherinks]

on 4/27/2009 ALWAYS have your potential spouse, partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend get tested for herpes BEFORE marriage. Herpes testing must be specifically asked for, each kind 1 and 2, many times STD testing does not cover herpes too. Herpes means never having sex without condoms. A woman can still spread herpes to a man while he wears a condom because it is in her fluids. And a man can still spread it to a women when he wears a condom because the skin in the genital region can asynchronously shed. Herpes can cause miscarriage, preterm labor, birth defects, fetal death, and infant brain damage and blindness. And herpes is in an infected mans semen as well. To wait until after marriage or find out after marriage would be cruel. A spouse or potential partner should be told about herpes upfront before dating, marriage, kissing, or sex because herpes is a life changing thing - affecting sex life and ha