How to Plan Holidays in a Multicultural Family

Holidays are stressful enough but when you're dealing with family members from different cultural groups, you may have an added problem or two. Holidays are, by nature, times when families gather and bond. Deciding how and when to blend traditions in a multicultural family can be a challenge but your family will end up understanding its own traditions better and be richer for the addition of new traditions.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Holiday gathering
• Research
• Patience
• Willingness to compromise

1. Find out about your new relations' traditions. You may be more compatible than you think. Christians and Orthodox Christians celebrate the same holidays, just on different days. Certain holidays are country-specific, like Thanksgiving and Fourth of July. Find out which holidays have religious significance and what the others celebrate.

2. 

   Share stories together and let family members share stories with the younger members. The story of Chanukah never failed to delight at our house, especially when accompanied by a new candle each evening on a little menorah commemorating the Macabees given to us by a dear friend.

3. 

   Agree ahead of time where and what to celebrate as a group. Plan ahead and be prepared to share with your in-law's family. It's best to be flexible and accept that there will be times that you just won't be able to be together. If you're open to new ideas and willing to compromise, you just might find yourself being invited to another family's festivities.

4. 

   Include family members in your family's traditions and participate in theirs. Some traditions are quite complex. Be open-minded and accept the validity of different cultural traditions. Be sure to find out how "orthodox" your new family member is--some families adapt easily, no matter how different.

5. Don't try to "universalize" everybody's tradition. Their value is that they are meaningful to its followers. Concentrate on the history and meaning of religious observances, rather than trying to reconcile beliefs. Understanding religious history leads to tolerance and tolerance leads to acceptance.

6. 

   Accept the fact that some traditions don't translate well. Share what works and what makes your new relative comfortable. Leave adventures in dining to another time and serve "typical" dishes that everyone can enjoy. Find activities that kids can share and enjoy from each others cultural background. The grown ups will be drawn in by the laughter and fun.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't rush it. Beware of "overload." Don't try to tell--or learn--everything at one holiday dinner. Your new family member already feels like a minority. Concentrate on welcoming him as a member of the group.