How to Work With Difficult People

The world is full of difficult people. This includes co-workers, neighbors, and even family members. One thing, for certain, is that difficult people cannot always be avoided and have to be dealt with for the peace of everyone. It is easy to overreact to difficult people, which can lead to a stressful and conflicted situation. According to Parlay International, there are seven types of difficult people. This article attempts to provide some guidelines for dealing with the difficult people who are part of our lives.

Things You'll Need

• patience
• calm

Instructions

1. 

   Don't take the bait If you are confronted by a person who uses verbal aggression to try and force you to accept his point of view, don't give in to temptation to respond in a verbally aggressive manner. Instead, ask him firmly to talk to in a calm and respectful manner in order to try and diffuse his aggression. Just listening will often calm down someone with an aggressive personality.

2. Listen and try to benefit. Whether at work, or in your neighborhood, you will probably run into someone who knows everything on almost every subject. Word to the wise: Don't put a know-it-all in charge of a meeting, committee, or job. He will take over and not let anyone else get a word in edgewise. However, you should try to listen to him and maybe even benefit from what knowledge he may have. Thank him for any valuable input he provided and then move on quickly.

3. 

   Cope as patiently as you can. There are many 'victims' that you run into. Instead of giving in to any desire to protect the victim, listen to her complaints (which are often accompanied by whining), then ask her what she feels needs to be done to help her feel better. By giving her ownership of her slights, either real or imagined, you are redirecting her complaints away from yourself.

4. 

   Stand firm. Sarcasm is a tool used by some difficult people. Don't let their sharp and often vitriolic tongue destroy harmony within your family or among your co-workers. You should let the person know that sarcasm is not acceptable behavior and that if he wants to be part of an event, or the team, he will have to be positive and respectful towards you and everyone else.

5. Watch out for people who go along with everyone and everything to gain approval. These individuals will often take on too many tasks and make too many commitments. Discourage these types from taking on more than they can handle and make sure that they follow through with any task that they agreed to assume.

6. Look out for the naysayers, who never have anything nice to say about the ideas that others have. If you work with, or belong to, an association, or club, you will be able to spot the naysayer. He is usually critical and picks everything apart. You cannot reform this type of difficult person. The best approach is to invite him to suggest alternatives. Often, the naysayer will back off if asked for constructive input.

7. Encourage the passive person to engage. Although people, who are extremely passive, are the easiest among the difficult people to get along with, you can rarely draw them out of their shell. Co-workers, who are withdrawn, seem to have nothing to contribute. Ask them open ended questions that will require a passive person to give more than a 'yes' or 'no' answer. Always try be patient with people with are this personality type.

Tips & Warnings

• You may not always be able to successfully deal with difficult people. You may have to talk to a family member, or employer, about the difficult people in order to reach a different resolution.

• Some aggressive people have the potential and capacity for violent behavior. If you ever have a concern, or fear, that an aggressive person may be on the verge of losing control, notify someone else immediately.

• Withdrawn or passive people can sometimes become a danger to themselves. If you ever feel a passive, or withdrawn person, could be contemplating suicide, notify a boss, mental health expert, or family member.